My Favourites of 2020

by Liz Heather in , , , , , , , ,

Everyone seems to love an end-of-year best-of post (myself included), so here we go. Behold, the best of the best in a year full of trash.

Clothing

  • J. Crew underwire 90s swimsuit: I bought it in both black & red and I can’t wait to wear them somewhere other than my house one day.

  • UNIQLO blouse: so soft and perfect fitting.

  • High waisted leggings from Aerie. I can’t put in a link because they’re always changing the ones they sell, but the softest/best ones are the ones that are 88% Nylon, 12% Elastane.

  • This Zella Crop Hoodie from Nordstrom that I pretty much wore every other day since June.

  • Babaton Contour V-Neck Bodysuit (so far I have it in two colours, clay & scarab), they’re amazing. They’re like better quality versions of the old American Apparel bodysuits.

TV & Movies

Beauty Products

Restaurant Takeout

Harvest Daiquiri from Gramercy Tavern

Banana Cake with Coffee Cream Cheese Frosting

Halloumi Hummus Bowl


Random Favourites

And there you have it! 2020, let me happily usher you to the door.

October Occurrences 2020

by Liz Heather in , , , , , , , , , ,

Forgive the lateness of this monthly post! I wish I could say it’s late because I’ve been crazy busy, but it’s really been because I’ve been lounging my ass around various corners of my parent’s house and trying my best to not watch any American news. Here’s what went down last month.

  • I started watching The Parkers and, as expected, it’s pretty great. Kim for life.

  • I got a lash lift aaaaaand it was bullshit. My eyes have never been more irritated and that’s coming from someone who went through corneal surgery. I think lash lifts are supposed to be for people who already have long lashes. But if you have long lashes, then why the hell do you need them to be lifted? SCAM.

  • Are eyelash curlers bad for people with short lashes? I was told they were. But that was by someone who also recently fucked my lashes, so I’m not sure what to believe now.

  • So many new movies were watched in October: Killer Klowns From Outer Space (absolutely great), Motel Hell (also great), Moment of Truth: Stalking Back (too real, a little hard to watch, but I’m really looking forward to watching other made-for-tv-movies from the series), Hush (a great movie, but again: too much, I might not be able to handle modern horror & I’m fine with that), Summer Camp Nightmare (great), Goodnight Mommy (parts of it were really cringe-y to watch but it was incredible), Mom (so, so underrated), Wolf (it was actually pretty good, how on earth had I not seen it before?), House on Haunted Hill (the old version and it was great! It ends abruptly but it’s still a fun movie), Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (80s as hell, but not as terrible as I thought it’d be), Creepshow 2 (just a good time), Frogs (terrible and not in a fun way), Cujo (just a story of neglectful pet owners), Night of the Demons (not bad, not good), This Is Paris (it was really, really good. It’s definitely hard to watch if you’ve dealt with abuse in any way, but it’s really well done) and I got through about nine minutes of Cats before I just had to call it.

  • The next season of Shrill started filming!

  • I finally went to Sleepy Hollow and wrote about it over here.

  • A recipe for mini meatloaf ghosts created by the ever-delightful, Chef John.

  • Among the top three of funniest Fresh Prince scenes ever.

  • Ate the hazelnut & cappuccino cronut this month and it was spectacular.

  • Started getting the cashew yogurt from Trader Joe’s and it’s so addictive.

  • The new SNLs have been all right, nothing special. And look, I love Jim Carrey. Forever will. But he isn’t good as Biden. It’s such a weird choice. Highlight of the episodes this month? The Bieber performances, surprisingly.

  • I made the Impossible Burger at home (you can buy them at any Fairway Market) and they’re absolutely the top veggie burger on the market today. So damn good.

  • There’s this restaurant in Mississauga (Erin Mills Pump & Patio) that does such a good job of replicating this now-off-menu pasta that I used to love from Snug Harbour and I’m so thankful to have found it. (It’s the Hunters Penne Pasta with chicken, cremini and shitake mushrooms, Italian parsley, black truffle oil in a white wine cream sauce incase you want to taste heaven.)

  • We went to Downey’s on Halloween this year and for the first time got their homemade cheese bread. Life will never be the same. Some photos of the day below.

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🎃🎃🎃 🔁: @kjp

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  • If you find yourself in NYC in November, I beg you… please go eat the Thanksgiving croissant from Milk Bar. You will regret nothing.

Some things that I’m looking forward to doing this month: reading Lindy West’s new book, decorating my parent’s house for the Christmas season, and SNOW.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in September over here.

July Jiffs 2020

by Liz Heather in , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This was me all month.

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The key word being was. We bought an air conditioner! We’ve been an A/C-free family for some time now, but since we’re spending so much time at home, we figured now was the time to be cool. In other news, everything still blows! What a shock! Here’s how I spent July.

  • I didn’t even know another Halloween movie was being made but of course I’ll go see it even if it turns out to be trash, you gotta support classic horror franchises, that’s just basic horror etiquette 101.

  • This is the most basic, boring-sounding sandwich on planet earth, but it tastes incredible I promise you (I didn’t add bacon, but I did add fresh mozzarella) and whatever bread you use, it’ll still be great. I find myself constantly forgetting about the greatness of mayo because I, my dear, am an idiot.

  • I ordered a bunch of new address labels on Zazzle because they were having a Christmas in July sale, so I bought some seasonally inspired labels to use over the next few months. If you’re not seasonally co-ordinating your return address labels, are you even living?

  • I’m still doing Nathan’s podcast on Patreon incase you’re interested. (You can find more clips on his Instagram.)

  • I attempted to watch the new Baby-Sitter’s Club on Netflix and it’s really not meant for me. I was never into the books or the movie or any of it, I never liked the idea of kids caring about making money, it seemed too sad to me. “Just be a kid!” I’d always thought.

  • Speaking of childhood nostalgia, I have started to watch reruns online of Sweet Valley High, which I loved as a kid. It’s no Breaker High, but it’s still pretty great to rewatch. God, Jessica really was an absolute bitch.

  • Some other things that I’ve rewatched: Con Air (practically a perfect movie, will always love, *Nic Cage forever* might be the only tattoo I’d ever get), Supermarket Sweep is on American Netflix and I was so excited (for about three episodes) then I moved on with my life, Sleepless in Seattle (still a very nice, average, reliable movie), Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (actually a really great summer movie, will always be a fun time to watch, will forever be a huge Keanu fan, I just feel like I could trust him??), and Dick Tracy (will always love this movie even if it has eight million too many montages, the set design is gorgeous, and this one outfit that Madonna wears makes me question… everything).

  • Some new movies that I’ve watched: Always Be My Maybe (so, so great! How did it take me so long to see this! So many good scenes, such a good movie), The Karate Kid (insane that I hadn’t seen it before, kids were uncomfortably mean in the 80s, favourite part was when Mr. Miyagi beats up the children, great movie), The Stepfather (pretty fun time, so happy we’ve starting watching horror movies again), Eat Pray Love (ugh, I don’t know, I do love movies about women just leaving and doing fun shit alone and abandoning their lives, but this was pretty lame, I hated James Franco’s character more than life and truly didn’t understand how Julia Roberts was even briefly into him), and finally the original The Hills Have Eyes (which I loved weirdly enough despite being incredibly tense the entire movie, I just thought it was so well done and scary and incredible, the rape scene is of course awful and I shut my eyes for that part, but that was the only thing I hated, it doesn’t make sense that I liked this movie so much).

  • I don’t know how to word this, but something is off with the reasonably priced (and almost too cheap) parmesan sold at Trader Joe’s. It melts weird. It doesn’t taste like normal cheese. Something is afoot and I won’t buy it any longer. I’m truly dreading and equally anticipating the day that all of Trader Joe’s secrets are exposed. Be warned.

  • That being said, obviously I’m in love with the seasonal summer candles that TJ just released. We have a complicated relationship.

Trader Joe summer candle trio, 2020

  • I made this gruyere mac and cheese with caramelized onions (I used almond milk and it still came out good) and can every recipe just include caramelized onions? The world is ending, let’s just put sweet, tiny, brown onions on everything and call it a day.

  • Ennio Morricone passed away last month and I find myself listening to the Cinema Paradiso soundtrack on repeat.

  • Read this great piece about summer blockbuster movies which also has just some great ideas for movies to rewatch right now.

  • I have to remember that Essie’s vibrant colours just f-ing suck. Only their muted/bland colours are good. They should really just stick to those. And if you’re looking for loud colours that stand out, the summer collection at Urban Outfitters is my go-to (and there’s always a 3 for $10 sale with them).

  • I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album and so far my favourites are definitely: the 1 and this is me trying.

  • Ugh, Astoriaaaaaa, DO BETTER.

  • I’ve been thinking about cancelling my Ipsy subscription again (because I think I don’t care about makeup at this current moment in time) and when I logged on to cancel, they let me choose one of the items being sent next month as if they knew I wanted to leave! So I chose a Sunday Riley product (because any sample I’ve tried from them, I’ve loved) so maybe I’ll cancel next month?

  • I tried a sample of Drunk Elephant’s shampoo & conditioner (which smelled so lovely) and my hair did seem softer the next day. There’s something about this brand though, I feel like they might be tricking us with their beautiful packaging and minimalist persona.

  • I bought and tried the ancient Biore Strips and I have absolutely no idea if they did what they’re supposed to do. Are you supposed to see the blackheads or whiteheads come off onto the strip? It felt like it just tried to peel my face off. No idea what’s going on with these.

  • I have been in love with the Peter Thomas Roth Correction Pads, I use one pad before bed each night and I think they’re doing something good because I always wake up with no new pimples. It has even started erasing all of the redness I’ve been experiencing lately from the summer heat and sweat and mask-wearing. At this point, I can definitely see myself rebuying when I run out, and if I do then I’ll definitely not get them from Sephora because you can get them way cheaper at other online retailers.

  • I’ve also started using this Dr. Dennis Gross All-In-One face cleanser and I think it’s a good one. It’s hard to tell because I started using it the same day at the correction pads I mentioned above (yes that was a bad idea but here we are), so maybe they’re working together to make my face good? We’ll revisit this.

  • I finally opened up this Belif set I bought a few months ago and it’s really nothing special. I think the face cream is probably the best item in there because you truly don’t need to use a lot to feel moisturized. But the face cleanser? Meh. I don’t think it does very much, it definitely didn’t help any redness. And the toner? Don’t get me started on how I kind of think toner might be a scam. And the “eye moisturizer”? Seems superfluous. My eye area is plenty moist, thanks.

  • Perfect summer soap scent: Fresh Rainfall. If I can’t travel this year, I will escape into this scent. (Send help.)

  • Very excited to hear about Lindy West’s new book.

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IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! This is the official cover for my next book, Shit, Actually, which you can preorder now and receive in Oct! I am SO EXCITED TO RELEASE THIS BOOK. Obviously Shrill changed my life and I worked harder on The Witches Are Coming than anything I’ve ever made, but frankly Shit, Actually is my favorite because it is just me in my purest form: being a bitch about movies. It was so therapeutic to write this book, a kind of return to myself and my beginnings, and it absolutely saved me to just sit and make myself laugh, day after day, during the early pandemic. I cannot wait for you to read this. (And let’s sell the shit out of it so I can write 10 sequels!) Also no joke I deserve a Grammy for the audiobook. 💖 ###### // New York Times opinion writer and bestselling author Lindy West was once the in-house movie critic for Seattle’s alternative newsweekly The Stranger, where she covered film with brutal honesty and giddy irreverence. In Shit, Actually, Lindy returns to those roots, re-examining beloved and iconic movies from the past 40 years with an eye toward the big questions of our time: Is Twilight the horniest movie in history? Why do the zebras in The Lion King trust Mufasa-WHO IS A LION-to look out for their best interests? Why did anyone bother making any more movies after The Fugitive achieved perfection? And, my god, why don’t any of the women in Love, Actually ever fucking talk?!?! From Forrest Gump, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, and Bad Boys II, to Face/Off, Top Gun, and The Notebook, Lindy combines her razor-sharp wit and trademark humor with a genuine adoration for nostalgic trash to shed new critical light on some of our defining cultural touchstones-the stories we’ve long been telling ourselves about who we are. At once outrageously funny and piercingly incisive, Shit, Actually reminds us to pause and ask, “How does this movie hold up?”, all while teaching us how to laugh at the things we love without ever letting them or ourselves off the hook. Shit, Actually is a love letter and a break-up note all in one: to the films that shaped us and the ones that ruined us. More often than not, Lindy finds, they’re one and the same.

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  • So I heard that Lady M now ships their cakes to Canada and I was able to scream in excitement for approx. four seconds before looking into it and seeing that it’ll cost you over $100 to get ONE cake sent. THE GALL, I tell you. THE GALL.

  • I briefly looked into the app Sweatcoin after hearing good things, but it really just seems like an app where its main goal is to track you. And yes, your phone already does that whether you’re aware or not, but I think I’ll pass on the extra tracking.

  • I heard that the upcoming Halloween Bob’s Burgers episode will “follow the kids as they try to deliver a burger to the hotel on their street.” It’s such a sad little bit of tiny information, but I love their seasonal episodes so much that I’ll take any crumbs available.

  • Actually helpful tips on how to clean your home efficiently.

  • Christ, why do I keep forgetting that Bareburger is absolutely nothing special? Why in the good fuck is it taking so long for a Shake Shack to come to Astoria?!

  • I ate on the patio at Hoja Santa in Astoria and the tacos were nothing to write home about. The service, drinks and chips were outstanding though, so I may have just ordered badly.

  • New favourite beer alert.

  • Best tweets of the month ahead.

  • I tried Thai iced coffee and it was so wildly sweet and too aromatic, I probably wouldn’t get it again. And I also tried a Vietnamese iced coffee and it was the perfect level of sweet! What’s the difference between the two, you ask?

  • I finally tried the katsu sandwich at Hi-Collar as takeout in the East Village and it was absolutely nothing special. No idea why people are so into it.

  • I haven’t been to Bite in so many months, so it was nice to get takeout earlier this week. God how I’ve missed their ciabatta bread. They use it on their sandwiches and it comes from Balthazar each morning and it’s always heavenly.

  • I have found the perfect, light summer blanket and I’m trying not to focus on the fact that it came from Amazon.

  • I tried a grapefruit shandy and holy shit, it might be my favourite new summer drink.

  • I ate on the patio at L’Artusi since it just reopened and good god, that carbonara will change you. So psyched to see they have the wagyu steak tartare on the menu now, too. The burger, the panzanella salad and the charred corn were all great, but that carbonara was the standout.

Yeah, I’m NOT gonna get a Manhattan??

Carbonara heaven, 'L’Artusi

L’Burger with roasted potatoes at L’Artusi

Sweet Irene!

Some things I’d like to do this month: I’d love to try this tomato toast with blue cheese mayo, I’m going to start using a new clothes steamer I just bought with the hopes of getting rid of my iron & ironing board, I rebought a tube of Revitalash because of how great my lashes were looking when I used it a few years ago so I’ll start using it on August 1st and track my progress to prove how great this product is, I can’t wait for Moesha to be coming to Netflix this month, and I am waiting waiting waiting until I can find time to return to Lilia (on the patio) to eat this incredible tomato focaccia & garlic butter (shown below).

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in June over here.

January Jewels 2020

by Liz Heather in , , , , , , , , ,

I’ve purposely put off writing this monthly wrap-up because, well, christ. January was a terrible month. I don’t need to go into the details of why, but the consensus from everyone that I’ve talked to fully agrees with me on this. What the hell happened? Starting a new decade is supposed to be great. In any case, I’ll always have high hopes for the future. And I’m just thankful to begin a new month. Here’s what went down in the pit that was January 2020.

  • First things first, I recapped how my 2019 resolutions turned out. Why don’t more people do this? Where’s the accountability in reviewing your past resolutions? They’re not fucking birthday wishes, they’re intentions! More people need to follow through with this, even if the results aren’t what you hoped for.

  • I made my 2020 resolutions.

  • I fell absolutely in love with this sketch.

  • I did two podcasts with Nathan - one where we talked about the pope incident and one where I absolutely scream at him about Hillary.

  • I read Jenny Slate’s new book as well as a tiny little book about how to live a good life.

  • I ended up buying another J. Crew swimsuit (the same one I bought a few months ago, but this time in red) and I have no regrets.

  • In love with Trader Joe’s (dairy free) coconut whipped cream, I can’t stop using it in hot chocolate.

  • I rewatched (or watched for the first time, I truly can’t remember) The Staircase and it’s so good. I’m pretty sure Marla got me MP3 copies of this years ago and I did watch it, but I completely forgot about it in detail. Such a good watch. If you’ve already seen it, do you know about the owl theory? It’s a wild one, but, like, I think an owl did it now?

  • I’ve been using a small bottle of OUAI’s Wave Spray and if I can figure out how to not overspray it, it’s a great product. Once you use it though, your hair only looks good that day. After you sleep on it, your hair looks like shit. (Is that true of all hair products? I have absolutely no idea.)

  • Bought this Banana Republic top for $13 on sale and I love it because it does not feel like it cost so little.

  • I don’t know if it’s a Canadian brand but I have found a wicked alternative to Dollarama: Buck or Two. I went to one in Brampton and they’ve got everything.

  • I watched most of the SNL with Jennifer Lopez and wow did it suck. 99% of the sketches were basically “She’s pretty. That’s the joke.” Fucking hated it. They do this a lot of the time with certain actresses and I can’t ever tell if it’s because the actress loves doing these sketches or they’re afraid she can’t be funny. Whatever the reason is, blow my brains out, please.

  • I went to the Ear Inn in the city and it was lovely! Super old place. Service was great. Burger was great.

  • I went to Glossier with the intention of buying the cheek stain and then decided against it. It’s not a good product. I literally pinched my cheeks and got a better rosiness.

  • I came across probably my favourite winter children’s book of all time, The Snowman by Raymond Briggs. Look at one page of this magic.

  • I was so happy to hear about this matter finally being settled in New York.

  • I went to The Dutch again for Restaurant Week for their steak tartare and it’s just heaven on a plate.

  • I rewatched the great What Lies Beneath and man, it’s still just such a great movie.

  • As you may have heard, Papyrus is going out of business, so I’ve popped in twice to see what the closing deals are and they aren’t worth it yet (only 30% off! C’mon! I won’t get out of bed for at least 60%), so I’ll keep stopping in every so often until they’ve become desperate.

  • Love this part of a recent SNL (below). (If you can’t see it in Canada, search for “white male rage SNL.”)

  • I finally went to Boulud Sud for their pasta happy hour and man was it not worth it. The place has a terrible setup if you’re sitting at the bar, the food was absolutely nothing special and had ridiculous portion sizes. It’s also a bad sign when the bread is tastier than the entree. Super disappointing.

  • I tried on the bras and underwear from LIVELY in Soho and even though it’s priced reasonably, I couldn’t find anything I loved. I have a feeling that I could be into it though, so I’ll go again sometime in the future for sure.

  • I’ll forever love the lunch special at Pil Pil on the Upper East Side. I know I probably bring this up too much, but man. Love tapas.

  • I can’t stop buying sunglasses for sale at ALDO. And I won’t.

  • I finished season one of The West Wing and it was really good. I keep forgetting about it, but I should stick with it. People, like, loved that show, didn’t they?

  • I started using Sol De Janeiro’s Bum Bum Cream… on my butt. That’s what it’s for, no? So far, I mean… it feels smooth? It’s not at all greasy, which I like. Seems weird to have a cream just for your butt, but who am I to criticize.

  • Ate the fish tacos at Summer Salt and they’re good! It’s insane and great that they sell margaritas at a fast casual place, too.

  • Very into this Pat McGrath mascara that I got as a Sephora reward.

  • Love this Wells For Boys sketch (below) from a few years ago that I just saw for the first time (thanks for showing me, Irene!)

  • I haven’t been there in years, but I went to Sweet Afton for happy hour in Astoria the other day and had the pickle martini which actually wasn’t terrible. Love that place.

  • Tried the lunch burger at Peter Luger finally! And yes it was a good burger (love that they use American cheese and the bun was very good even though it's not a potato bun). Steakhouse burgers are always hard for me to rate since a steakhouse burger is a real *entree* unlike the regular, everyday burgers that other places have which are not as big and overwhelming. An everyday burger is easy to rate since it's either great, overrated or shit. A steakhouse burger has nuances, how juicy is too juicy? How's the quality of the meat? What are the ideal toppings? Should someone shoot me for my extensive burger thoughts? Yes.

  • I went to see a free orchestral performance put on by Julliard at Lincoln Center and it was great. It reminded me so much of going to my brother Gary’s recitals when I was a kid, just loved it.

  • Had dinner at Portale. The pasta was insane. This place might be a rival for L’Artusi! Dare I say it! Every bite was phenomenal. MUST return. (Noteworthy: it also just got two stars in the Times.)

  • LOVED this piece about Ricky Gervais and the Golden Globes. Favourite line: “The least risky thing in the world is announced apathy.“

  • Maybe you don’t know this, but 90% of post offices in the U.S. have bulletproof glass between the workers and the customers. It’s obviously because awful things have happened, but I’ve been going to this one post office in the city on 23rd street that doesn’t have the glass and the workers are SO MUCH MORE PLEASANT. I wish all locations were like this one. Just a thought.

  • Just bought another one of these UNIQLO shirts that I love in dark grey.

  • Every January I make sure to:

    • Mark down all holidays/birthdays/anniversaries (Valentine’s Day, Daylight Saving Times, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving)

    • Check expiration dates for passport/license/health card/insurance and write down any important renewal dates

  • I’ve watched the first two new episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm and it fucking blows. There was only one thing I laughed at (when a server thought Larry was “oggling” her but he was really just keeping an eye on her tray with pigs in blankets) but OTHER THAN THAT, what a piece of shit season so far! I fucking hated the part in one episode where he videotapes the consent given between him and some woman as they’re making out. ALSO, and this has happened a few times over the seasons, he’s recycling fucking Seinfeld jokes. FROM THE SHOW. Talking about when it’s too late to get “Happy New Year-ed”? Are we kidding here?! Fucking lazy as hell. I might just stop watching.

  • I watched the new Taylor Swift documentary on Netflix and it’s really good. Even if you have zero opinion on her, I really liked it. (It also introduced me to this great song.)

Things that I’m looking forward to this month: seeing a Raptors game at Barclays Center, finally sitting down and watching season two of Shrill in its entirety, reading Joan Rivers’ book Enter Talking and and maybe going to another Restaurant Week lunch before the end date. February, please oh please don’t be as terrible as January.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in December over here!

July Jiffs

by Liz Heather in , , , ,

Summer is finally half over!

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One more filthy month to go before the best time of the year! Here were the highlights of July:

  • So you know how much I love the banana pudding from Magnolia already, but what you don't know is that it's probably my favourite summer dessert to make and bring to parties because people go fucking nuts for it. So for July 4th this year I made it, but I also bought some Coffee Crisp chocolate bars to Canadian it up (if you're in the U.S. then you can buy them in the international foods section at Bed Bath & Beyond), then dumped those bars into a food processor to make a COFFEE CRISP CRUMBLE TO GO ATOP THE BANANA PUDDING. And it was heaven.

  • I ate some of the best fish tacos in NYC at Tacoway Beach in Rockaway near the beach. They're crazy simple but so good, I try to get them once a year so I never grow sick of them. Tip: definitely skip the black bean tacos AND the elote because they are both wildly unpleasing.

  • I made this Sweet Potato Gnocchi in Spinach Cream Sauce but full disclosure: I bought the sweet potato gnocchi already put together at Trader Joe's, and then just made the sauce from the recipe and it still tasted amazing. There's something I'll never like about buying frozen food from Trader Joe's (I feel like I haven't completely given up on life yet?), but this gnocchi is the exception (this and their cauliflower pizza crust). Will definitely be keeping this one in the food rotation because it was delicious as hell.

  • I read two books this month and I refuse to stop saying that out loud to people, but I guess I have to move on since it's August soon, so that sucks. The Simpsons one I read was great and the Ijeoma Oluo one was even better!

  • I did start to read Steve Martin's Born Standing Up and wow was it dull. Don't get me wrong, I think Steve Martin is great. But I read about half of it before collapsing in extreme dissatisfaction. IT'S SO BORING. Why do people think that it's such a good book? Famous comedians will gleefully prattle on about how great it is to one another, which is why I wanted to read it in the first place, so this just doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I was going to just suck it up and keep going until I asked Nathan if it got any better and he very politely told me that it did not. Can someone tell me why it's supposed to be so good? It shoulda been called Bore Standing Up! Okay, that's not a good joke, I know, but it's better than WHAT'S GOING ON INSIDE THIS BOOK.

  • I tried the frozen Irish coffee at Passage in Astoria finally and... it was great! Duh.

Frozen Irish Coffee at Passage in Astoria, Queens

  • I watched Hannah Gadsby's Nanette on Netflix and didn't really care for it for the first half. The only reason I kept watching was because a friend of mine echoed the same thoughts of the beginning not being good but it getting good the second half. And she was completely right because the second half was powerful as hell. My real thoughts are just a general annoyance at people who plainly say, "It isn't standup." And maybe my opinion on this matters in no way since I'm not a comedian, but it just bothers me that there's this weird line of what standup should or shouldn't be, as if the idea of anything more being said with no punchline isn't worthy enough for the untouchable standup stage. She's a comedian! She said jokes! She also had more to say, which is great. Especially with what's going on in the world right now, it seems weird to purposely not want to comment on that and focus solely on what a comedian "is supposed to do." That idea just seems strange to me.

  • Nathan and I went to a wedding and it was fun and we looked great. Proof!

  • I saw a bunch of movies.

    • Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (in theatres) - I mean, a Macarena joke made me laugh so it obviously wasn't a good movie, but some of the kids had a good time so that makes it a success.

    • Can't Buy Me Love (Netflix) - I'd never seen it and it's a terrible eighties movie so I kind of needed to all of a sudden. Also it was on a list of things leaving Netflix in August so I suddenly felt the urge to grab on tightly before letting it go off into the distance? That's normal?

    • Girls Trip (HBOGO) - I have no idea why the urge to see this movie happened inside of me. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Not good, but not horrendous.

    • Ibiza (Netflix) - I guess I've been having real moments lately where I've just been missing certain groups of friends and watching these ridiculous movies puts me at ease a bit maybe? I don't know, let's not analyze it. Oh! The music from this one was really great, though. Also, Gillian Jacobs' eyes are so ginormous, I'm always shocked that men aren't looking for a woman with huge eyes instead of a huge ass or boobs, makes no fucking sense to me. Her eyes are insane!

    • Obvious Child (Netflix) - Jenny Slate can do no wrong and of course this movie was great. Other than all the cringe-inducing standup scenes (that are supposed to be cringe-inducing, I'm assuming), it was just a nice movie. The music from this one was pretty great, too.

  • I tried the new Crispy Chicken at Swiss Chalet and it was really tasty because of course it was, anything fried is most likely amazing. It's funny to me that they're not just calling it fried chicken. Obviously it's purposeful too, like they're thinking that if they did call it fried chicken it'd sound too Americanized or something. That's definitely something they thought. "No, calling it Crispy Chicken just makes it seem healthier, like it was just slightly dunked into hot, frying oil and not, like, submerged for hours."

  • I've had an iPhone 5 for three years and the battery had gone completely to shit (ie. dying at 80%) a few weeks ago, so I took it to Mobile Klinik (outside of Wal-Mart on the first floor of Square One in Mississauga) and they replaced the battery for me within an hour and it only cost me $60 and now it's been working amazingly. They were super nice and it came with a one year warranty, so definitely keep this in mind if you're ever in need of their services.

  • The only thing I've ever eaten at Dominique Ansel Kitchen was the burrata soft serve ice cream from a few years ago, but I stopped by recently and had the cold pear yogurt and hot toasted granola and maaaaaaan why can't the version I make at home taste as good as theirs. WHY.

Cold Pear Yogurt & Hot Toasted Granola, Dominique Ansel Kitched

  • A friend told me about this great site Zaful that has gorgeous swimsuits for crazy cheap and are actually good quality. Are you even kidding me with how gorgeous those marbled ones look?!

  • Tried the soft serve at Tom's Dairy Freeze in Etobicoke finally and it was goooooood because all ice cream is good.

Tom's Dairy Freeze in Etobicoke, ON

  • I went to see the Scarborough Bluffs with Marla and some of my nieces and it's such a beautiful place. So glad we went.

Finn & Marla!

Layla, me, Maya!

  • It's Restaurant Week in New York right now (it actually lasts a few weeks), so I'm hoping to eat at some places I've always wanted to go to. So far I've only gone to Astor Court inside the St. Regis hotel, but it was so, so good. Here's what I had.

And that was July! 

I'm a little shocked that I'm still keeping up with these monthly posts, here are the ones from May & June if you'd care to read about them.