The Best of October

This might be the hardest week of the year because it’s officially the longest period of time until next Halloween. I tend to take a few days to decompress a bit, so by this coming weekend I’ll be fully ready for holiday-mode. That being said, October was such a great month that felt like almost a year long - in a good way. Here’s what went down.

• You can find my favourite tweets of the month over here and here.

• I think it’s clear that I watched every good 90s Halloween sitcom episode that I could find links for.

• For Halloween, I dressed up as Tony Montana (Al Pacino) from Scarface and Baby Dog was, umm, my main accessory.

• In love with this article, “The Secret To Marriage Is Never Getting Married.”

• I’ve always wanted to make the Nestle Toll House chocolate chip oatmeal cookies recipe (on the back of the Toll House package) and they were really, really good. Might become a staple in my cookie repertoire.

• I made these soft pumpkin cookies with salted maple icing again this year and they continue to be incredible - and that’s coming from someone who truly hates soft cookies.

• I also made these garlic butter chicken meatballs with creamy orzo (in a slow cooker) and the meatballs were great, I’ll definitely make those again. But the orzo cooked in a crockpot? Hard pass. Pasta always tastes terrible from a crockpot, I knew this and still went ahead, so it’s my fault really.

• I was in Canada for awhile, so I…

  • Went to the new(ish) Keg near Square One and it kind of sucked? What the hell? The meat was nowhere worth the price, which is weird because I remember that it used to be better. I’m trying to find my new Canyon Creek (since it closed) and it’s a hard task to undertake but I won’t give up.

  • I had the burger from Ozzy’s Burgers and the lamb was terrible, but the regular burgers were fantastic.

  • My niece Layla turned 17 (!) so thankfully we were able to get the Milk Bar birthday cake from the Toronto location. It’s such a shame that location is closing at the end of the year.

  • I also planted some bulbs in the garden with my mom, which makes me even more excited for spring to come next year to see if anything blooms.

  • I tried the new Lays flavour Fries & Gravy and good god I love this country.

  • I made the apple fritter cake (again) for (Canadian) (real) Thanksgiving and I. love. this. cake.

  • My dad put up his seasonal bird feeder and I think I’ve said this before, but the answer to life is getting a bird feeder and then sitting down to watch it. Nothing better.

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Heaven on earth?

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My dad & Baby Dog, October 2022

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Mississauga, Ontario - October 2022

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Fries & Gravy Lays

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Oakville, Ontario - October 2022

• I made my way to the Harvest Moon Farm & Orchard in North Salem, NY (with my friend Diana) where we had the best warm apple cider donuts and cider mimosas. Afterward we went for brunch at The Arch restaurant, which was beautiful & old, but nothing really spectacular food-wise.

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Cider mimosa at Harvest Moon Farm & Orchard, North Salem, New York

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Cider donuts at Harvest Moon Farm & Orchard, North Salem, New York

• On Halloween, I took Baby Dog on our annual autumn visit to Central Park and it was bursting with beauty.

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Central Park, October 2022

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Central Park, October 2022

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Central Park, October 2022

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Baby Dog in Central Park, October 2022

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Baby Dog in Central Park, October 2022

• When it comes to all purpose cleaners, I’m in love with Mrs. Meyers. The snowdrop scent is my favourite one (which should be coming out again soon), but I just got the apple cider one and yikes. It’s perfect. Is it sad to have favourite seasonal all purpose cleaners? Absolutely. But here we are. Welcome to your late 30s.

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Mrs. Meyer’s Apple Cider Limited Edition Scent

• Now if we’re talking seasonal coffee drinks? The Starbucks pumpkin cream cold brew (only 1/2 shot of syrup, extra foam) makes me a little sick by the end of the drink, but I still love it. And the vanilla cream cold brew at Tim Hortons is also really good. Oooo and the Tim Hortons hazelnut cold brew with espresso foam? Get out of here, so good. I think I just like foam.

• Loving the new Charlie Brown stamps from the USPS. Wait, who is in charge of deciding the new stamps? Oh god, have I discovered the greatest job on earth? I THINK I HAVE??

• So I got a new Apple charger from The Apple Store, the one that apparently charges faster. Aaaaaand my battery dies even quicker now! Sweet!

• I was scrambling to find a dress for a wedding this month and Bloomingdale’s saved me. How do I always forget about that place? I love an old, good department store. Yes they can be overwhelming, but they’re practically deserted. I have to remember this for the future. Oh! And Macy’s too! Such great dresses for special occasions.

• So Nathan and I went to Los Angeles for a wedding (the dress code was “outdo us”) and we stayed at Citizen M hotel in downtown LA. Let me just say that this is not the type of hotel for two people to share a room, that’s the nicest way I can put it. It’s definitely clean and relatively nice, but the rooms are laughably small. The wedding was fun and I loved walking around downtown LA mostly because of the incredibly well preserved buildings. Sure, the area is pretty dicey but it’s beautifully ancient. We walked to Santee Alley (where I got my new favourite feather clutch) and three days was the perfect amount of time to stay in that area. And the baja tacos from Tocaya were insanely good. Also the Wolfgang Puck Express stand at LAX had really good food to take on the plane.

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Citizen M hotel room, this bed is literally the width of the room

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Baja taco from Tocaya, Downtown LA

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Ummm, is Nathan somehow cooler in LA??

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Okay hold up, are we BOTH COOLER IN LA??

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WE BAD

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California blonde dreams coming true

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The Los Angeles Theatre opened in 1931 - Downtown LA

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The Eastern Columbia Building opened in 1930 - Downtown LA

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The Orpheum Theatre opened in 1926 - Downtown LA

• Speaking of airports, the restaurant The Hearth by Lynn Crawford at Pearson in Terminal 1 in Toronto is great! Get the meatballs. Love it when airport food is above average.

• Of course I listened to the new Taylor Swift album Midnights and the best songs are Question…?, Sweet Nothing, Anti-Hero, Bejeweled, Maroon and You’re On Your Own, Kid.

• Some things I watched this month:

  • Smile: such a fun time. Love a fun horror movie.

  • I rewatched the first two Friday The 13th movies with Layla (her first time seeing them) and I’d forgotten how good they were. They really hold up well over time.

  • Recent SNLs: Nothing super noteworthy in any of the episodes, I like the new guys. I was introduced to that great Megan Thee Stallion song Anxiety, which I can’t stop playing. The worst sketch I’ve seen in years was that Jack Harlow one with the joker. Just awful. Oh, and Colin Farrell looks alarmingly good.

  • Celebrity Jeopardy: I solely watched because I love Ike Barinholtz (and he was great). But look, I know that Celebrity Jeopardy is, like, the easiest Jeopardy to exist. I understand that. But I had no idea how incredibly dumb most celebrities are. I mean, I know they’re not exactly known for their IQ levels but this was actually just wild to watch. Every single person on each episode I saw was a complete moron (with the exception of Ike and Simu Liu).

  • Barbarian: so great, loved every bit of it. Bill Skarsgård remains as hot as always. (Sidenote: I was gushing about Skarsgård later to Nathan before bed and he scoffed and dismissed it so I asked him, “You probably don’t even have an answer, but who would you consider an attractive celebrity man?” and without even a second of hesitation he goes, “Pierce Brosnan in ‘97.” Hahahahahah, god I died. He’s not wrong.)

Some things I’m looking forward to this month: I’ve already put my order in for this year’s bayberry candles, I’m finally going to read Dave Grohl’s book, of course I’ll get the Thanksgiving croissant from Milk Bar, I’m definitely gonna go to the NY postcard show, and I’ve already got my ticket to see the Thierry Mugler exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum which opens on the 18th. Oh! And a gentle reminder if you’ve started Christmas shopping: get the damn gift receipt.

If you have any interest in reading what went on in September, come on over here and you can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

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Ray of sunshine on my ray of sunshine

The Best of August

Wow, this is by far the latest monthly post, sorry about that. I wish I had an excuse for my lateness, but this is a free site so I don’t owe you a damn thing!

Summer is almost at an end and I couldn’t be happier about it. This will soon be me.

Here’s what went down in August!

• You can find my favourites tweets of the month over here and here.

• I got coffee at Cafe Renis in Astoria and it’s perfect. Love an independent coffee place.

• I’ve decided that the best canned tomatoes you can get in the U.S. come from the brand Afeltra and they’re sold at Eataly.

• The Chelsea Hotel finally reopened so I stopped by for a (ridiculously overpriced) coffee and yes the renovation took forever, but damn it’s gorgeous.

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The Chelsea Hotel lobby, August 2022

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The Chelsea Hotel, August 2022

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The Chelsea Hotel, August 2022

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The Chelsea Hotel, August 2022

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The Chelsea Hotel, August 2022

• I bought these running shoes I found at Marshalls and I loooooove them. Who doesn’t love a shoe that feels like a heavy sock?

• I also can’t stop taking photos in this Zara dress. Clearly.

• It’s finally the time of year when Lemax (the worldwide leader in collectable village miniatures) releases their new Halloween collection and I’m fighting every urge inside my body to buy THE GLOOM ROOM.

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The Gloom Room from Lemax, 2022 Collection (not shown: the figures DANCING IN THE ROOFTOP BALLROOM)

• Completely out of nowhere, but does everyone know how cool-looking the Tommy Bahama wrapping paper is? Just beautiful.

• I tried these Lays West Indies’ Hot ‘n’ Sweet Chilli and they were tasty as hell.

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• I have forever loved the top of this building (below) and have always wondered what the inside looks like. Now I know and it’s shot to the top of my must-live-in list.

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The Cupola Penthouse at 141 Fifth Avenue, NYC

• I had dinner at the breathtaking Riverpark with Irene and the food was really good.

• It’s almost embarrassing how many times I’ve listened to Beach House by Carly Rae Jepsen.

• Some things I watched this month:

  • Bodies Bodies Bodies - Did I see this solely because of Lee Pace? Yes. And he wasn’t in it nearly enough. Also, it is not a good movie.

  • The Rehearsal - Look, I get it, it was fine. Definitely not the masterpiece that everyone claims it is. Love Nathan Fielder, though. A Canadian king.

  • Sister Act - Okay, I haven’t rewatched this in maybe… twenty years? It’s still amazing. And god, that soundtrack. All hits.

  • Violation - My friend Dusty made this movie and it’s incredible. No bias either, I promise you - he’s just wildly talented.

• I also got to go to Canada for a short visit to see some friends and family, which is always great.

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• I finally got to visit my best friend Harmeet’s lake house in Ontario and it. was. unreal. Such a fun few days away.

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Harmeet!

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• Is it weird that I’ve never done a tea service before? Wait, is that how I even word that? In any case, my dear friend Marla took me to my first one! I can’t believe how many things you get. We went to The Wild Tart in Elora, Ontario and it was wonderful.

• While we were in Elora, we also went to see the gorge and quarry (where scenes from It were filmed!). I had no idea that Elora was such a nice little town. I also discovered this greeting card company that I’m absolutely in love with.

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Elora Quarry, August 2022

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Marla!

Some things I’m looking forward to this month: I’m pretty excited about coming up with my autumn list of things to do this year, I need to catch up on writing some travel posts that I’ve been putting off since July, I need to make some final decisions on our Halloween costumes, and we’re getting a brand new oven that I’m pretty jacked about.

If you have any interest in what went on in July, come on over here and you can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

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That’s her excited-for-September face

The Best of April

Yes, I’m late on the monthly post but there are approx. three people who read these posts so WE’LL ALL LIVE. Here’s what went down in April!

• NATHAN’S TV SHOW TRAPPED PREMIERED! It’s available only in Canada on Bell Fibe TV1 but I have a link to it if you’re interested in watching and you’re not in Canada (message me about it). So wildly proud of how good it is and I promise you’ll love it.

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Airing on Bell Fibe TV1

• The best tweets of April can be found over here and here.

• I wrote about seeing the great Birthday Candles on Broadway.

• I did Nathan’s podcast again and we talked about the Netflix show Old Enough and whether or not you can question women.

• I talked about visiting the beautiful New York Transit Museum and why you should too.

• I came across this wonderful Kurt Vonnegut letter.

• I should have loved this recipe for lemon orzo with parmesan and peas, but it was definitely missing something. Maybe a basil vinaigrette should’ve been mixed in? Maybe some grilled chicken? There are so many recipe blogs now that everything has become so boring and bland.

• I went to Hudson Yards for the first time and it’s… a lot. I had no idea there was so much going on in that area. Had drinks at Peak with Jessie mainly for the view and it was lovely! If you find yourself shopping in that area, a drink up there should definitely be on your list.

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Peak in Hudson Yards, NYC

• I looked through the new Half Baked Harvest cookbook and there might be some decent recipes in there (like the rosemary chicken salad with bacon shallot vinaigrette or the lasagna alla vodka or the balsamic stuffed mushrooms with basil and orzo). Will I buy it? Time will tell. Buying a new cookbook is such a commitment.

• I went to the antique store No Particular Hours finally and it was a little disappointing. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I figured that since it was only open on the weekends it’d be a bit more exciting? How does this logic make sense? I’m not sure. In any case, it’s nothing special. I think antique shops might only be good in the suburbs.

• I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Easter candy is EONS better than Halloween candy. And the Dove milk chocolate peanut butter eggs give you a reason to live. But that being said, the Lindt mini eggs completely sucked. There’s a weird powder on them that didn’t seem normal, the Cadbury ones are waaay better.

• Baby Dog and I went to Central Park because everything is in bloom and it’d be a sin not to go and see it all.

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My happy girl in Central Park, April 2022

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Her expression makes me want to weep

• Things I Watched:

  • The House of the Devil: uuuuugggghhhh, words can’t express how terrible this was. I can’t stand when directors who aren’t Alfred Hitchcock show up in their own movies. It always seems desperate. I might officially hate Ti West (god even that name, I cringe writing it).

  • Speaking of awful things, I did a brief hate-watch of some seasons of Entourage for some reason. What’s wrong with me?

  • Also rewatched some of The League and it really doesn’t hold up after all these years. Every scene with Jason Mantzoukas is magic and Andre (Paul Scheer) is by far the best character, but other than that it’s definitely not worth a rewatch.

  • Euphoria: I watched all two seasons of it at once and loved Kat & Ethan (until she was awful in the second season to him), obviously loved the idea of Lexi & Fez, and I kind of hate Rue & Jules. I just can’t stand Jules. The last two episodes of season two especially? So messy. Love mess.

  • I saw the Lizzo SNL and these two sketches were by far the funniest ones: the Black Eyed Peas one and the Venga Bus one.

  • Life of Kylie: do you remember this sad attempt at a show? It was on while I was getting my nails done and just wow. Apparently money can’t stop you from being boring. (Also, small side note: if these people weren’t absolutely wretched, I would feel immensely bad for the awful face work that Scott has had done recently. Someone forced a clip of their new show on me and it’s shocking that bad plastic surgery can still be achieved even if you have millions. Sad.)

  • Old Enough: love how low maintenance this is, perfect show, no notes.

  • I attempted the first season of Atlanta and only got through the first three episodes. I do want to watch that Trinidadian funeral episode from this season though because I’ve only heard good things (from one person, my brother Robbie, but that’s enough to spark my interest). I don’t think I’ve ever seen any show attempt to show what a Caribbean funeral is like and I’d love to see if they got it right.

  • Bao: Pixar is really incredible sometimes (I’m aware that we all know this already). I feel like all moms would love this short.

  • Turning Red: Okay, so I’m going to have strong opinions about a movie based in Toronto. And here they are. No Canadian has ever said the word “hoser” to any other Canadian. Can we all just accept that and move on? It’s embarrassing. Also, when the mother over-pronounced the word “Toronto” you could immediately tell that little to no research was done on this movie. It takes place in 2002 and the $5 bills they showed were the new ones that definitely came out after 2002. And the birthday cake Timbits they mentioned came out in 2014. Am I a loser for pointing these things out? NOPE! How hard is it to research a movie with a budget of millions?! I’M not the problem here. And look, all that being said yes it’s a good movie. It’s a real “call your mom” movie.

• We’ve been making homemade iced green tea for about a year now, but I started getting flavoured green tea and it’s taken things to a whole new level.

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Homemade iced green tea is the answer, whatever the question

• I’ve never even heard of the Canadian singer Virginia To Vegas, but I’m obsessed with the two songs betterman and selfish.

• I will not stop re-buying these pocketed leggings from Aerie. So damn soft.

• I went out to a winery in the Hamptons (Macari Vineyards) with my friend Diana and what a great time we had. Sometimes I forget how good it feels to leave the city for a day.

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Baby Dog at a winery!

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Baby Dog at a Hamptons beach!

• Nathan and I saw American Buffalo on Broadway with Sam Rockwell (what a compete fox) and what a fucking party. It was so good, that man is incredible, I love that theatre (Circle in the Square), I can’t recommend it enough. This was the first Mamet play I’ve ever seen, so I was already excited. The set is incredible, everyone did so well, and we managed to get lottery tickets through TodayTix that were amazing seats. GO GO GO.

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April 2022

• Real fast: if you find yourself in Richmond, Virginia then you have to go to the Hotel Greene to play mini golf INSIDE this gorgeous, old hotel. Nathan did it while he was there for shows and it looks incredible.

Things I’m looking forward to: I’m definitely going to go see part two of the new costume exhibit at The Met, Stanley Tucci’s second season of Searching For Italy is finally airing so I can’t wait to see that, this might sound stupid but Ina Garten is in Europe for two weeks and she’s posting in her stories about her favourite places and I am enthralled I can’t wait to hear about them, and I must visit the new restaurant Le Gratin inside my precious Beekman.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in March over here and you can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

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I mean… no one is cuter

The Best of February

My favourite month has arrived! Spring is coming and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

• You can find my favourite tweets of the month over here and here.

• I compiled my favourite tweets about love for Valentine’s Day.

• I read and review Elvira’s new memoir.

• I know that it’s older, but I’ve kept the song Gypsy by Lady Gaga on repeat for about two weeks now.

• I made garlic confit and I’ll be real with you - it looks way better than it tastes. And that’s coming from someone who adores garlic. By cooking it down, it actually makes the garlic flavour quite mild so it’s truly not worth making again. I put a boatload of it on some toast and it was beyond lackluster. One more con? Expect to be gassy as hell if you eat this stuff.

• I tried a sample of this Tata Harper (christ that name) cleanser and it was really good. Thankfully there are cheaper, better options out there (literally anything in the tea tree line at The Body Shop), but this was great to try.

• I was getting pretty sick of the Spotify commercials in my (free) account, so I made to the movie to Apple Music to try their three month trial. We shall see how it goes. (That goddam Stone Cold Steve Austin & Ice-T commercial may have been the final straw to leave Spotify.)

• I went to Sarabeth’s for their Restaurant Week lunch menu and it was extremely good. I love blue cheese and pear together in a salad, why can’t that be as common as caesar salads? And the mussels and fries were heavenly.

• I have been in such a funk with nail polish lately, every colour seems to look disgusting. I got a short, red, gel manicure recently and had to remove it within a week, it was so repulsive to look at. What is my problem? …What’s that? You don’t care? Hahah. Honestly, same.

• I finally tried SLT (it’s one of the options when you try ClassPass for a free month trial), and what even is SLT? It’s like if spin classes + pilates classes had an obnoxious baby. And you know what? NOT FOR ME. I think I hate any pilates class that uses a machine.

• In love with the larger citrus green tea candles that just came out from Trader Joe’s. Fucking love a wooden wick.

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Citrus Green Tea candle from Trader Joe’s, February 2022

• Two new things I made for the first time this month? Risotto and scallops. It’s well known how annoying risotto is to make yourself since it’s such a long process, but I didn’t fully grasp that concept until I did it firsthand. And it wasn’t even that amazing, so that was a letdown. As for the scallops? Very fast and extremely easy.

• Had dinner at the extremely cute French place La Petit Joie in Brooklyn with Diana. Love any place that does oysters rockefeller every night of the week. Also, can more restaurants bring back BYOB? It’s so thoughtful to even offer.

• I tried out this Ulta eyeshadow palette and it came off with hand soap. The quality of makeup these days is just wild. And the prices keep going up, WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE?

• Went to The Independent in midtown and their mussels and harvest salad were truly memorable. Great place to go if you’re in the area seeing a show.

• Tried the new french toast soft serve at Milk Bar and yes it was good, but not as good as their apple pie soft serve.

• I have found my new favourite hair mask: AG Hair Colour Savour Mask. I’m not sure if it’s for all blondes or just dyed blondes, but I love it. You’d think the bubblegum scent would repel me, but I find it whimsical. Of course it’s made by a Canadian company.

• There was a beautiful, pre-spring day so I took Baby Dog to Central Park and just look at this mug.

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Baby Dog in Central Park, February 2022

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Baby Dog in Central Park, February 2022

• I bought some gorgeous new address labels from Zazzle. Are you doing this? You really should. Don’t you want to be better than everyone else?

• So I went to Suprema Provisions finally and look the burger was good, but not nearly as good as the burger at Sparrow Tavern in Astoria (or even The Spaniard). Their mushroom pasta was saucy and great. And I never thought I’d say this, but I think it’s time to retire burrata from all restaurant menus. It is always the same. Always uninspired. We need to move on with ours lives, I think.

• Okay, so I bought some eucalyptus to hang from my shower head (pardon me for being DEEPLY ORIGINAL) and unlike every Pinterest pin that encourages you to do this, I fully recommend NOT EVEN BOTHERING. It’s pointless. There is no smell. There is no point. And I think it might attract moths (!), but that last point is unconfirmed. Instead, if you’re really obsessed with this idea, just buy a can of this eucalyptus shower mist. You spray it into the hot water and it does actually make it seem like a steam room for the length of your shower.

• Went to Van Dam diner in Queens with Irene and it’s like you fell into 1983, loved it.

• Truly sorry for telling you about this, but if I had to hear about it so do you: lip blushing. One more reason that this world hates women. If I had any real money, I’d buy up as much ad space as I could and just have signs that tell women, “Hey you! You’re good! You don’t need to buy anything to be better! Relax!”

• And speaking of buying things to make you feel better, I just bought these strappy black heels and they feel so lovely & I can’t wait to destroy anyone in my path the first time I wear them.

• I also bought these Steven Madden heels online and does that man hate women? Or just their feet? The most uncomfortable shoes I’ve ever owned. Returning as soon as possible.

• I was in Harlem so I went to Oso for their happy hour (good guacamole, I want to go back mainly to try the cake place next door) and then to Lido for their happy hour, which was fantastic. I love when a happy hour menu gives a fuck. Definitely want to go back to Lido for a meal.

• What I watched this month:

  • Tried rewatching The Mindy Project and while the first few seasons are pretty good (Morgan is the best character by far), I just couldn’t get into the entire series again for some reason. I think I stopped around the episode where she talks about how she doesn’t like men seeing her naked ever. Some things are just better as a memory, I guess.

  • I’m rewatching old Sex and the City episodes to get the AJLT taste out of my mouth and they’re all pretty hit or miss. Samantha is so much funnier than I remember, which was been great. Also, you know when Carrie is with Aiden and he has his dog Pete with him - did you ever notice that this dog is NEVER excited to see Carrie when she enters a scene? I get that it’s not real life and he’s just a dog on a set, but it made me laugh so much that this dog just does not fucking care about her. Pete was right all along. Also, for all the credit that this show gets for the outfits, good god are there a lot of terrible wardrobe decisions. But I guess that’s part of the good thing about it maybe? Like not everything has to be your taste or even look good - it’s more important to be fun and confident and have these characters wear what they think looks good? What side am I even on?? Do I hate the show or not?? Look, even I don’t know.

  • The John Mulaney SNL: Why did I watch this one specifically? Who knows. I don’t think I even like him, but it was a really good episode. Makes zero sense, but I was dying at the monkey sketch.

  • The Worst Person In The World: I liked it! Not as much as I thought I would given how highly praised it is, but it was nice to be in a theatre. (And that chocolate peanut butter pie slice at The Angelika? Oof. Always worth it.)

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Chocolate peanut butter pie at The Angelika, NYC

• I made this sesame garlic chili oil noodle dish that suhuuuuuucked. I think I need a moment away from Half Baked Harvest. So many misses lately.

• Recipes I want to make this month:

  • Tuscan Kale Salad with Gorgonzola Croutons - I always forget how much I love blue cheese.

  • Truffled Garlic Bread with Ricotta - okay, this looks maddeningly incredible. I could either make this myself OR I could visit any North Italia restaurant where they have it on the menu… which is just a two hour drive from me to the Pennsylvania location… mental note…

  • Hummingbird Cake Scones with Mascarpone Glaze!! Christ!!

  • Prosciutto, Peas & Orzo - my love affair with orzo has not ended.

  • Banana Sheet Cake with Walnut Streusel and Rum Glaze - can sheet cake come back in style already? Fuck.

  • Grilled Asparagus Caesar Salad - love new ways to ingest caesar dressing.

  • Lemon Almond Pudding Cake - pudding CAKE? This must be the future.

Some things I’m looking forward to this month: I won a lottery ticket to see Harry Potter on Broadway this coming week, obviously I want to find and drink the space Coke, I really want to try the happy hour at Bistro Les Amis (the poutine looks Canadian), the second season of Stanley Tucci’s Searching For Italy starts on March 13th, my best friend Harmeet is coming for a visit (!), I found a place in NYC serving Steak Diane (!!!) so that’ll likely be my birthday meal, I got a ticket for opening night of the Broadway play Birthday Candles with Debra Messing on the 18th, and I will most certainly go get my free birthday gifts from The Body Shop, Sephora, and Ulta. (And I mean… should I drive two hours purely for some amazing garlic bread? I’m thinking I should? That sort of tracks with who I am as a person? Also it’s my birthday soon? And the world is slowly but surely burning? And garlic bread might solve everything? And by “might” I mean “definitely will”?)

If you have any interest in reading what went on in January, come on over here and you can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

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The Best of November

Should I comment on how fast this year has gone by or is that just a commonality of general life now and never needs to be said again?

Here’s what went down in November.

• You can find my favourite tweets of the month over here and here.

• I wrote about the very best Thanksgiving recipes. I’m going to do this type of post again for Christmas recipes soon.

• I detailed my visit to the Treasures exhibit at the New York Public Library.

• My friend Irene & I tried the pizza at Di Fara’s in Brooklyn and while it was good, it was nowhere near worth the drive out there. Just way too far, we might as well have gone to New Jersey. Good pizza, though!

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Di Fara Pizza, Brooklyn

• Here’s some advice on how to have a cheaper Christmas this year because everything costs a million dollars now?

• If you’ve never been to the Octagon House in Irvington, New York then you now have no excuse not to go for yourself.

• New things I watched:

  • Only Murders in the Building - phenomenal! Everyone should watch! Can’t recommend it enough.

  • Squid Game - yes I’m the last person on earth who watched it and yes it was fantastic. That old man! Fuck!

  • The newest season of Curb Your Enthusiasm - yeah, I think I can’t watch anymore. I think I’m done with love/hate relationships because there’s no actual love here and why am I doing this to myself?

  • The newest season of Big Mouth - the shame episode is phenomenal. This is just such a good show, I’m so glad it exists.

  • The newest season of Nora From Queens - this season was really up and down for me, but it finished really strong. This is corny but the idea of not being lost if you have people you care for and who care for you? I love it. I’m in. The father is by far the best character and maybe the main reason I keep watching at this point.

  • That’s Entertainment! Have you heard of this old movie? It’s not even a movie really, it’s a collection of moments from old Hollywood productions. I’d never even heard of Esther Williams, but oh my god what a woman.

• I made these salty vanilla espresso chocolate chip cookies that exceeded expectations. I think I might only like cookies that have chocolate in them. It’s nice to finally realize this. It’s also nice to admit to fully being a child with this preference.

• I can’t remember the last time autumn in New York looked this beautiful.

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The Bow Bridge in Central Park, November 2021

• A list of ten things you should do before Christmas (with the exception of visiting the Waldorf since it reopens in 2023).

• Slightly obnoxious reminder: GET GIFT RECEIPTS.

• Have you tried a satsuma mandarin? A seedless beauty.

• New seasonal candles at Trader Joe’s!

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New winter candles at Trader Joe’s, November 2021

• My brother Gary’s podcast has returned and his first episode back was about Alf and it couldn’t be greater.

• Nathan and I saw Jeff Daniels in To Kill A Mockingbird on Broadway and it was so, so good. Everyone should see him in it. But it was also just such a great feeling to be out on the town and dressed up.

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November 2021

• We’re redecorating our apartment right now and I couldn’t be more in love with our new washroom shelving. I feel like that sentence might make you sad for me, but don’t be! I’m actually living a really fun, cool life.

• I’ve been craving tomato soup lately and the one at Il Bambino in Astoria is too perfect. But stay far far away from the one at Astoria Bier & Cheese because their tomato soup is putrid (which is weird because their sandwiches are great).

• I’ve made this 10-ingredient lentil bolognese a few times and I think it’ll be in my permanent recipe rotation. It’s really hearty, but not at all bland and you really don’t miss the meat.

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Vegan Lentil Bolognese

• I’ll forever love Boursin cheese, this will always be true. And their new fig & balsamic flavour? Out of this world good.

• I went to the beautiful restaurant on the water Red Hat on the River with my dear friend Diana and it was good! Nothing spectacular, but good. The mussels are the main reason to go, in my opinion. Tasty as hell.

• I’m really on the fence about reusable gift wrap, but it does look simplistic and pretty.

• I visited the Lyndhurst mansion that has been newly decorated for the holidays and it was very quaint. I will admit that the Octagon House was a little bit more exciting, but I’ll never turn down a visit to a nice house in the country.

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Lyndhurst Mansion, November 2021

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Beautiful Diana inside the front door at Lyndhurst Mansion

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One of the bedrooms inside Lyndhurst

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Tiffany windows inside Lyndhurst Mansion

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I’ve never wanted to live in a bathroom more

• Loved this list of 90s Dad Thrillers, it’s just such a good genre.

• Have you heard of the dollar-store-esque store Five Below? I hadn’t until this month and I’m mad I didn’t know about it sooner.

• Can someone please buy me the winter spiced cranberry Sprite? Why does it look so damn good?

• Loved, loved, loved this performance (below).

• So I perused the new Chrissy Teigen cookbook and there’s really nothing exciting in it. And is it just me or does she use fish sauce as her “special ingredient” in almost every dish she has? And I like fish sauce, but this is getting ridiculous.

• The fabric ornaments at West Elm are extremely cute this year. Did I need to buy a mouse wearing a sweater when I saw it and fell in love with it? I guess this is my life now?

• Absolutely addicted to the new herbaceous cheesy bites from Trader Joe’s. A smaller, fancier mozzarella stick? I’m in, baby. (Also their seasonal rosemary nuts are fantastic.)

• I had THE worst eyelash extension experience at Wow Threading Studio on 26th Street and no one should ever ever ever get eyelash “cluster” extensions. They couldn’t be worse. (Scathing review in the Yelp link.)

• Incase you love seasonal episodes:

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• I bought a new winter mug with white snowflakes on Etsy and I’m in love.

• Tried a donut from Mochi Mochi and you know what? I don’t like donuts that much these days, but this one I liked. Less dense than other donuts. (Tip: if you’re looking for Squid Game Dalgona candy, they sell them here at their location in Herald Square.)

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Mochi Mochi Donut, NYC

• The Union Square Holiday Market has begun and the duck fat poutine from Duck Season was INSANITY. So, so good. Better than some Canadian poutines. Go immediately.

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Seasonal Poutine at Duck Season with duck fat fries, duck confit, fresh cheese curds, duck gravy $17

• As soon as the colder weather starts, I always buy one new couch blanket (I guess adults call them throw blankets) and I’m in love with this Banana Republic Factory one (in the Burnt Umber colour). What is umber? Couldn’t tell you. But I can tell you that it’s chocolate coloured.

• The Metropolitan Postcard Club sponsors a special two day show every November where approximately thirty-five to forty postcard dealers from around the nation and the world attend to introduce their cards to the public, so of course I went and here are some of the best ones I came across.

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Found at the Metropolitan Postcard Fair, November 2021

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Found at the Metropolitan Postcard Fair, November 2021

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Found at the Metropolitan Postcard Fair, November 2021

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Found at the Metropolitan Postcard Fair, November 2021

• I went to see the Dior exhibit at The Brooklyn Museum and I reviewed it over here.

• The Thanksgiving croissant returned in all its glory! It is now $9 (because 2021 won’t let you have affordable things anymore), but it’s still amazing tasting. I also tried Milk Bar’s apple cake which was good but way too sweet. And their cinnamon pretzel soft serve was delicious. This place exhausts me with their new menu items, I don’t know how they continuously keep it up.

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Details of the Thanksgiving croissant, November 2021

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The Thanksgiving croissant, 2021

• I think I’ve found the greatest scent of all time at Bath & Body Works: Fall Citrus Harvest.

• I’ve mentioned my love of Supermoon Bakehouse before and my sweet friends Katie & Greg (thankyouthankyou!) got me a giant box treats from them that was absolutely decadent and incredible. Everyone must visit this bakery.

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A care package from Supermoon Bakehouse

Some things I’m looking forward to this month:

• I made this home movie of the holidays a few years ago that I might make again this year since we haven’t been together as a full family since December 2019 and I beg you to maybe do one of your own as well because you will watch it over and over, I promise.

• If you’re at all superstitious or just, like, a cool person - don’t forget to buy your bayberry candles!

• Will I be watching all of the snowy movies on this list? I’m only human, I have to.

• While I’m in Ontario, I really want to get my hands on this vegan cheese that’s supposed to be incredible.

• I’m planning on making roast beef on Christmas Eve mainly so I can make these roast beef sandwiches for lunch on Christmas Day.

If you have any interest in reading what went on in October, come on over here and you can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

The Best of September

So long, September! I can’t believe it’s finally here. And look, I try not to base my entire personality on the fact that I love this time of year so much but every year it’s getting harder and harder to deny it. There’s just something so electrifying about rainy nights and pumpkins on stoops, I’M SORRY. In any case, here’s what went down in September.

• You can find my favourite tweets of the month over here and here.

• I’ve been using the greatest eyebrow growth serum OF LIFE and wrote a bit about it over here (with photographic proof!).

• I recapped what I did from my summer list.

• So obviously I had to create an autumn list because this is my life.

• New podcast alert!

@rulaibraheem

##fypシ

♬ оригинальный звук - Anna Bruni

• I made this chocolate zucchini banana cake with coffee frosting for Nathan’s birthday and we both fell in love with it. This will now be the only birthday cake I ever make for him, it’s incredible.

• I went to the Italian restaurant Lilia in Brooklyn again because they always have the best focaccia (right now it’s cherry tomato with green garlic butter), so I got that as well as the corn-filled cappelletti with black pepper and pecorino and yes it was good but the pasta definitely lacked some sort of different textual element which would have sent it over the top in deliciousness. Am I being harsh? No. If you’re paying upwards of $20 for one plate of pasta, there has to be standards.

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Cherry tomato focaccia with green garlic butter

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Corn-filled cappelletti with black pepper & pecorino

• I tried the pumpkin cream cold brew at Starbucks (with one pump of vanilla instead of two because they go nuts with their pumps) and it was only okay. Why do people love it so much? The salted caramel one looks good but I can’t bring myself to go back and try it. I have such a hate-hate relationship with Starbucks, so what the hell am I even doing going in there? The last time I brought my laptop in to work in a Starbucks was in 2019 and they played the whole Hamilton soundtrack on a loop TWICE and I almost lost my mind it’s such a terrible album. I feel like an alien for not being mesmerized by Lin-Manuel Miranda, but like… he sucks?

• I ate at Forsythia again and it only confirmed its place in my mind as one of the best new restaurants of this past year. I finally tried and loved the short rib agnolotti as well as the pappa al pomodoro, which was like a beautiful tomato tartare, so summery and perfect.

• I bought these pajamas from Banana Republic Factory because they’re soft as hell and I haven’t had matching pajamas since… never.

• Links I’m Loving:

  • Okay, this is the cutest autumn sweater on the planet, COME ON.

  • Untold Horror is “a behind-the-scenes look into development hell to find the most frightening horror movies that never were, from unmade Re-Animator sequels to alternate takes on legendary franchises like Frankenstein and Dracula!” - this sounds like such a great read.

  • I Never Knew How Golden My Summers Were - a great piece on remembering the best summer of your life.

  • Creative Ways To Start Your Morning On A Good Note

  • Halloween Craft Idea For Kids: Pumpkin Stamps with Apples

  • Reason #214 Never To Get CoolSculpting

• Tuesdays at Regal Cinemas are now offering $6.25 movie tickets! This definitely can’t last, so I’m going to make the most of it while it’s offered.

• New seasonal candles are finally at Trader Joe’s.

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Autumn candles at Trader Joe’s, September 2021

• So it’s been established how much I love and support Milk Bar… but the new funnel cake soft serve is truly one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever ingested. Just shockingly gross. If you’re nearby, get a free sample and tell me how right I am.

• I went for a late summer walk through Central Park and why don’t I do this once a week.

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• I can’t get over how beautiful this song is (thanks for introducing it to me, Jessie!), it’s toooo good.

• There’s a sale on Aerie underwear right now IF you’re into that sort of thing.

• I made a zucchini lasagna that was very good but in no way better than a meat lasagna.

• Speaking of zucchini, if you own a deep fryer: please make this zucchini spaghetti or these cider battered chicken fingers and then ask me over.

• I took this (free) (actually helpful) intro to SEO class online if you’re interested in that sort of thing.

• I made these apple pie bars that are ridiculously easy, fast and incredible. I was feeling ambitious, so I made this quick caramel to pour on top.

• I fell down a rabbit hole of researching all of the Broadway theatres in New York and I might get tickets to Girl From The North Country purely to sit inside the gorgeous Belasco Theatre.

• Finally had the steak at L’Artusi and it was delicious. Best steak ever? God no, but good. They will, however, hold the title of best steak tartare in all of NYC though.

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The steak at L’Artusi in the West Village

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The best steak tartare in NYC at L’Artusi

• New things I’ve watched and rewatched:

  • Searching For Italy: so, so great. I already wanted to travel around Italy and eat everything so watching this was a delight. It’s also just so enjoyable to watch people who love their jobs. The Tuscany episode was my favourite one, mostly because I love any and all panzanella talk.

  • I attempted to watch Basic Instinct but I was in a very specific mood and had to turn it off after the rape scene. Nah thanks.

  • Never Have I Ever (season two): Love that Common is in it, hoping he becomes a regular. I can’t stand the way the writers write the teen dialogue, it’s so cringeworthy, but if you can get past that it’s an absolutely okay show. That scene in episode nine with her & Paxton when he comes in from window? Shiiiiit.

  • Broken: it’s an episode about makeup and the lesson? Watch out for counterfeit cosmetics. Got it.

  • The X-Files (The Squeeze episode): Someone told me to watch this one because it’s supposed to be scary, but it wasn’t anything special. A waaay better episode is Pusher. Watch THAT one.

  • The Witches of Eastwick: How the hell have I never seen this before? So many parts are good. Would definitely rewatch. I’ll never get over how gorgeous Michelle Pfeiffer is. Just maddening.

  • Scanners: boooooooooo. They shouldn’t make the cover look so good, it’s terrible.

  • Nightmare on Elm Street: Really holds up well. Always love it.

  • I’m rewatching Sabrina the Teenage Witch and kind of loving every minute of it. The episode where she becomes addicted to pancakes? A gem.

  • Was Dharma & Greg, like, a great show? I never cared about it at the time because I think I was too young to get into it but I just watched their Halloween episode and it was so good. Might look into this further.

  • Awkwafina is Nora From Queens (season two): With the exception of the blackout episode and the extremely hot cameo from original Reggie (Ross Butler), this season has really sucked. And this is insane to me because I loved the first season, what the hell?

Some things I’m looking forward to this month: I created an autumn highlight on my Instagram incase you care to see the fun things I’m planning on doing this month, excited to read Stanley Tucci’s new book, definitely going to make these pumpkin scones with a maple glaze, I will likely buy something from this year’s Halloween Lush collection, I’m gonna do a post about my recent trip to Salem (!), and I’m in the final stages of costume planning. God, I love this month.

If you have any interest in reading what went on in August, come on over here and you can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

The Best of May

Forgive the lateness of this post! I am excuse-less. Here’s what went down last month!

• Here are the two lists of the best tweets of the month.

• I perused Jessica Merchant’s new cookbook and some of the recipes are definite must-makes this summer. Garlic confit, stone fruit halloumi salad, tomato pie, BLT corn salad, scallops with tomato cream sauce, and the list goes on. Sometimes I like to browse the cookbooks in book stores just for inspiration when I’m in a cooking rut.

• I bought the Dr. Teal’s foaming bath Vapor Bath scent and it’s underwhelming! I mean, it’s good, but nothing like the vapor heaven I was anticipating.

• I made the ramp butter from Missy Robbin’s (of Lilia fame) recipe and it tasted fine but was nothing like hers. No idea where I went wrong. Maybe I was supposed to use salted butter? Maybe the butter quality wasn’t good enough? Maybe my food processor was inadequate?

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Ramps

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My sad ramp butter

• In other ramp news, I ate the ramp, cheddar & poppyseed croissant from Mel The Bakery and it was delicious. Great bakery. Must return.

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Ramp, cheddar & poppyseed croissant from Mel The Bakery, NYC

• So I made the Milk Bar crumbs (without the cake) because I thought that’d be a fun treat to just keep in the fridge. But without the cake and the icing? Suck city. Such a waste of time. Tastes useless on its own.

• I watched the movie Riding The Bullet (why, I don’t know) and of course it was terrible, what was I thinking. Proves that you don’t have to be talented to make a movie, so there’s really hope for anyone in this world.

• I reviewed the NARS birthday gift from Sephora.

• I tried a sample of Chanel’s Ultra-Light Skin Perfecting Sunscreen Makeup Broad Spectrum SPF 15 and it’s luxury in a bottle. I might have to buy it since they discontinued the Amore Pacific tinted moisturizer that I used to love.

• I made focaccia for the first time! I had some leftover green garlic so I incorporated that into it and it was a raging success.

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Before

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After

• I watched the third and final season of Shrill and it was perfect. I hate that it’s over since every season was better than the last, but life must go on. No spoilers, but I loved how it ended. Best character of life = Em.

• Went to Momofuku Noodle Bar again and finally tried the buns (not pork, but mushroom) and wow. I wish I knew how to cook a mushroom like a restaurant quality chef. It’s a mystery I’ll never crack.

• New goal: to swim in the sky pool in London.

• Sometimes there is no greater joy than getting to experience a new potato chip flavour. And the Lays ones this summer… are wonderful.

• I can’t stop making this chicken caprese pasta salad. There’s something about the idea of a cold pasta salad that sits in the fridge and gets better each day, I just love it. It always reminds me of a staple food that white people would take to a picnic in the 90s, but I don’t know what I’m basing that on. Wasn’t that a white person thing? I remember mentioning the idea of a cold pasta salad to one of my West Indian cousins at a get together and she gasped at the idea, “Why would a pasta ever be served COLD???”

• I only ever want to read new stories like these.

• I rewatched Mad Man and this is probably the best scene in the whole series. The line “the moon belongs to everyone” will always make my knees weak.

• I listened to the Martin Short / Charles Grodin episode of Julie Klausner’s podcast and it only reaffirms how I feel about podcasts. They’re so fucking boring, I’ll never know what people get out of listening to them. Absolutely not for me.

• That being said, I do love being a guest on them.

• There’s a new Danny Meyer restaurant opening in the fall, sign me up, obviously.

• I bought these high waisted shorts, this gorgeously neon orange crop, and these printed shorts: all from Zara because their summer collection is actually good this year.

• I went to a Mets game and it was wonderful to be back in a stadium. I also got the Mrs. Met Wonder Woman bobblehead I’ve been eyeing for over a year now.

• I ate a white chocolate apricot scone from Il Bambino in Astoria and it was insanely good. I always forget about scones. You can’t sleep on a scone. I also always forget how much I love apricot. It’s never IN anything, why is that?

• The teaser for Last Night in Soho makes it look really good.

• I revisited The Beekman and it continues to be just a solid ass place to take someone from out of town for a drink. It’s so beautifully designed and I’ll never get over what a great job was done in restoring it.

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The ceiling at The Beekman, NYC

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Look at the stairway details at The Beekman, NYC

• Okay, I know everyone knows about the cookies at Levain Bakery, but the dark chocolate peanut butter one might CHANGE YOU SPIRITUALLY.

• I got some great British food gifts from Myers of Keswick in the West Village for my dad, it’s just a great little shop.

• I finally went to the Dame pop-up! Exquisite fish and chips. I did sneak in my own gravy from Pommes Frites down the street since they don’t offer any, but no one seemed to mind (and by no one I mean that I hid it with a napkin anytime someone walked by). I understand this isn’t behavior I should exhibit, but fish and chips without gravy should be illegal. Anyway, I’m so excited they’re expanding into a full blown restaurant. Must return to see the new menu items.

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Look at that fry and TELL me he isn’t screaming out for sip of gravy

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Secret gravy tastes better?

• So I was all excited to go see the new Little Island in the city, but then I realized that this goddam area was the one that I was so against a few years ago because it meant that they’d tear down the Pier 54 remnants! I can’t believe time had made me forget this fact! Those dirty fucks! So I may not visit it now. Debating all my options. Mentally I don’t know that I even need to escape to a new floating island.

• I bought these black flats for my new part time hostess job (more on this in another post) and they’re so comfortable, it’s shocking.

• Tried the new(ish) Key Lime Pie Kit-Kats and, what a shock, another winner.

• I finally reviewed the KKW lip liner set that I mentioned months ago.

• Of course I listened to Olivia Rodrigo’s new album Sour and the best songs are by far traitor and driver’s license (duh).

• I took Baby Dog on a mini day trip to Coney Island and it was too fun. We walked along the pier, got my prediction from Grandma, spent three seconds in the sand and then sat by the water. We also went to the Coney Island Brewery and the best things about that place? The music is so perfect and late 90s, there’s a free tap that has still & sparkling water, they have beer flights on the menu to try different kinds (such a great idea), the grilled cheese was NUTS, and the alcoholic pink lemonade was summer in a can.

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Smiling at the ocean

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Wonder Wheel

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Baby Dog at a brewery

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Can I install this in my house, PLEASE

Some things I’m looking forward to doing this month: I’d really love to make this garlic jam that sounds incredible, I’m making it my mission to get to Mama’s Too on a Wednesday this month to try one of their legendary Wednesday sandwiches, and I’m so excited that casual street fairs have returned (check below for some upcoming ones).

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If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in April over here and you can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

The Best of March

Am I alone in thinking that was the longest March of all time? It truly felt like it would never end. Usually I love my birthday month, but with everything still the way it’s been for the past year, there really didn’t feel like much of a reason to celebrate. Also, Nathan got COVID. It was awful and scary and I was worried about how he’d be, but all is well and he just got his vaccine this past weekend, which is incredible. So a real roller coaster type of month, but thank god it’s over.

Here’s everything that went down last month.

• I recapped how my winter list of things to do went.

• Forever an optimist, I made a list of spring things that I’d like to do. One of my favourite things to do is get a pedicure on the first day of a season. I don’t get them very often at all, so it’s a nice way to usher in some new weather.

• I finished watching Superstore, which is such a great show. I would’ve never watched it on my own, so this is why you have to listen to your best friend’s recommendations sometimes. They know more than you. Also, it was weird as hell to hear the Smashing Pumpkins song Today in one episode. Just seemed like a strange pairing, them and this show. Or any show, really. But I mean they did lend a song to that Apple ad, so I guess the old days of Billy Corgan complaining about everything are over.

• I read and reviewed Joan Rivers’ book Enter Talking.

• I made my way back to Lilia with Irene to devour their seasonal leek focaccia & green salted butter, which is always heaven on a plate. (Me and focaccia have had a pretty strong love affair going on for some time now. I plan on making it at home soon, but I can’t decide on the flavouring I’ll want to add to it. There are too many possibilities.) We also shared two pastas: the corzetti with pine nuts, marjoram & parmigiano reggiano as well as the sheep’s milk cheese agnolotti with saffron, dried tomato & honey. Always a good meal here. Might benefit from some new pastas, though.

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My sweet baby girl, leek focaccia & her green salted butter

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Stunning Irene & pasta

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I’m very excited for bread

• I got my first Moderna shot! I usually have tons of anxiety around needles, but somehow it wasn’t a problem this time (maybe because I had the kindest nurse on the planet). It sounds so simple, but she told me to look away, to take a deep breath and while I was taking that breath she put the needle in and THAT WAS IT. So grateful for that advice. Must remember that for life now. I have my next shot on April 8th! (I did get COVID arm, but it went away in 24 hours so it really wasn’t a big deal.) Also, I’ll definitely ask a medical professional, but if it’s allowed then I’m definitely getting my card laminated for free.

• There’s this great, cute new store called Gift Box on Broadway in Astoria. It’s very similar to Lockwood, only better. Lots of cards, gifts, beauty products, candles, that kind of thing.

• It’s green garlic season and we must all celebrate! I’ve also decided that I might devote my life to compound butters. Making them, eating them, giving them away as gifts potentially. Maybe this is what’s been missing.

• Google image search the vagar faroe islands and let’s go.

• I can’t stop putting this Esti vegan feta on everything, it tastes exactly like regular feta only slightly less salty.

• Everything from the brand Umbra is gorgeous.

• These are officially (and my niece Layla can attest to it) the greatest socks on the planet. Not too tight, not too short or high, and soft as a cloud.

• Best kale caesar dressing I’ve had in months. And I love the idea of using breadcrumbs instead of croutons to liven things up a bit.

• I made this roasted winter citrus and wow was it hot fruit. It should be a crime to make something look this good, but taste average as hell.

• I started using the app Google Keep to organize all of my lists and tasks and I love it. It’s so much better than using Notes.

• HOW have I never even HEARD of Shake Shack’s Innovation Kitchen?! AND HOW HAVE I NEVER BEEN. It’s moved to the top of my current Must Visit list.

• I may or may not have fallen down a rabbit hole of incredible Melissa Clark recipes. Love this woman.

• If you live in Englewood, New Jersey, how do you not just LIVE at this bakery? My god. Every item. In my mouth. Now.

• And listen, I’m no scientist, but this seems like huge news…?

• If you find yourself anxious or unsettled, this video of lasagna being made from scratch is the most soothing thing I’ve come across in months.

• Target sells candles?! I’m the last person on earth who learned this. $4 for an actually great mini candle is wild.

• Tried a slice of the red velvet cake from Milk Bar and it was unexpectedly good. I don’t usually care about red velvet (because it’s a scam?), but honestly their cakes always find a way to taste amazing.

• I made this cajun linguine and it was so lackluster, I hate when a pasta recipe doesn’t work out. It’s so upsetting. Also, cajun seasoning can blow me.

• They’re opening a Sonic in Manhattan, which I’ve never been to before, is it worth going?

• I know Eataly is for tourists, but once in awhile I like to stop in to peruse. I tried one of their prepackaged foods (the eggplant parmesan) and it was a hard pass. Just no flavouring at all. The only thing that saved the day were their individual little Italian chocolates. Always amazing. I do want to eventually try their dried pasta Afeltra since I’ve heard such good things about it.

• I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely not ready to watch documentaries about the pandemic yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever want to. I mean… we’re still IN IT, for christ’s sake. HBO needs to just sit down.

• Tell me that you know the song Sea of Love.

• You had me at “cheese-oozing focaccia.”

• Great piece on diet culture by Julia Turshen.

• When I was in Seattle in April a few years ago, I wandered onto the University of Washington’s campus and was blown away by their gorgeous cherry blossoms. They have a livestream of them right now, if you’d like to take a look.

• With plastic bags officially banned now, I desperately need a basket bag to take when I go to the farmer’s market. So f-ing lovely. Everyone will think I’m Belle or some shit.

• I don’t think I’ve ever had a fresh Jamaican patty in my life, so I’m definitely going here the next time I’m in Mississauga.

• I love this chickpea salad, especially after adding basil.

• Some of these are actually really great tips.

• How on earth have I never heard of the restaurants Dell’anima or Anfora?! They’re both under the Joe Campanale umbrella (of L’Artusi fame)! I’m so excited to go. Just look at those menus.

• Speaking of, I can’t go for too long without eating the wagyu steak tartare at L’Artusi. It’s a problem. (It also makes me want to buy a really great finishing olive oil, so I’m looking into that. I’m thinking either Monini or Frantoia.)

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Wagyu steak tartare at L’Artusi

• One thing I’ve started to do that you should too: buy good butter. I stopped buying margarine many years ago and thought I was a better person for buying regular grocery store butter. But sweetie, you can do more. The butter (specifically European butter) in specialty shops or some bakeries or markets is EONS better than the run-of-the-mill basic grocery butter. And it enhances literally everything that you use it in. Right now, the butter in my fridge is beurre de baratte butter and it’s ridiculously good. Obviously I’m not going to use this butter when I’m baking because I’m not a millionaire, but when I’m making something savory for dinner? Or a compound butter? Or on top of asparagus? On some bread as a snack? It’s unreal.

• Speaking of food advice: don’t buy your parmesan at the grocery store either. I’ve never had amazing parmesan from there. It’s always the same, even the expensive stuff. Get your ass to a cheese shop. Enough already, you’re an adult.

• I tried a CBD chocolate and just as I thought: it’s a scam. Just like red velvet. It did nothing for nobody.

• I bought this tea tree toner on a whim from The Body Shop and I might keep buying it for the rest of time. I use it on my face right when I get out of a hot shower and it’s kept my face feeling incredible lately.

• A new coffee shop opened up in my neighbourhood called Coffee Avenue and I can’t recommend it enough. The macadamia milk hot chocolate blew my face off.

• I finally ate at Bar Primi in the city and it was spectacular. We had the ricotta crostino with hazelnuts & truffle honey (which is almost like a dessert, it’s so good), the linguine with 4 cloves of garlic & breadcrumbs as well as the penne ragu alla bolognese with ricotta which was the very best. Can’t wait to go again. Loved the atmosphere of the place, too.

• The seasonal candle is out at Trader Joe’s and it’s grapefruit, which smells perfect. I’ve finally stopped hoarding their candles and have started burning them. Only took me a year of lockdown to realize I should try to enjoy my life.

• Lemon Kit-Kats exist and all is right with the world. Delicious.

• I don’t go very often, but I’ll always love The Dutch. Perfect cornbread. Perfect tartare. You can’t go wrong.

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Housemade scallion-chipotle cornbread with whipped butter

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Wagyu steak tartare, capers, bearnaise aioli

• *Note: if it seems like I eat a lot of steak tartare - I do. Good observation. It’s incredible.

• Controversial opinion but the Dove chocolate peanut butter eggs are one millions times better than Reese’s peanut butter cups. I couldn’t believe it either.

• This leads me to another declaration: Easter candy might be better than Halloween candy. Hear me out. Halloween candy is almost chaotic when you think of the candy options, it’s overwhelming and more often than not, disappointing. Easter candy, however, is usually always new and fresh each season. They’ve got to work harder to get you to notice Easter candy, so infact you’re getting a more well thought out product, which usually tastes better. Anyway, can you tell I’m depressed…?

• I went to the new Ulta location in NYC in Herald Square and it’s great, it seems bigger than the UWS one and it’s way more convenient to visit. Must remember. Oh! But speaking of Ulta, remember how last year they had such great birthday gifts? They really dropped the ball this year. They’re trying to give a $5 Mario Badescu facial spray as the March gift?! Are you fucking serious?! That’s the worst. Literally the worst gift of all the months. Fighting every urge in my body to write them a strongly-worded letter about this. Just insanity. I didn’t even go claim it. Keep your damn gift, no spray can calm me down from this.

• New love: macadamia milk in my iced coffee in the morning. Just heavenly.

• I rewatched Wall-E and what a great movie. For all ages. Too perfect.

• Love the song Team by Lorde.

• I watched the Woody Allen & Mia Farrow documentary on HBO and it’s obviously a must watch. So many things I didn’t know about that story were shown, this man needs to be stopped.

• If you ever get a new phone and you want to transfer over all of your WhatsApp messages to your new phone (and you’ve never backed them up), you can pay $40 and use this site to do it.

• The new Super Mario World in Japan looks incredible.

• Do not judge me, but I ordered (and returned) a SKIMS bralette. I was swayed by a few photos of women wearing it and wanted to see for myself what it felt like. Verdict: crap. Sure, the material is soft but only because it’s so poorly made and unsupportive. An immediate return. The beautiful colours of the bras are what sells the product, in my opinion. It’s so hard to find well made, beautiful browns and neutrals in undergarments.

• Speaking of what’s her name, I also ordered this KKW mini lip liner set that I’m unfortunately in love with. I use it as a lip liner and filler, and each fucking one is gorgeous. I’m going to do a post to show you. You’ll see what I mean.

• I came across this wonderful stationary store in Chelsea, City Papery. I could spend hours roaming the aisles in there. Made a mental note to go back to get some really beautiful envelopes (why on earth am I still buying the basic-ass white envelopes at CVS??), such a great store.

• I’m proofreading a book right now about the idea of living with intention and I’ll post a link to it as soon as it’s released later this year. It’s honestly one of the best self help things I’ve read in a long time.

• I’ve had a Pinterest account forever and I recently organized a lot of the recipes into seasonal categories, which has inspired me to make so many new meals this season. Check it. Also, I haven’t tried these yet, but these spring recipes (below) sound delicious.

  • Blueberry Ricotta Cake with Lavender Glaze

  • Banana Carrot Cake Cupcakes with Coconut Cream Cheese Frosting

  • Lemon Almond Pudding Cake

  • Asparagus Quiche with Hash Brown Crust

  • Apricot Shortbread Bars

  • Buttermilk Lavender Scones

  • Carrot Cake Bread with Nutella Cream Cheese Frosting

  • Lemon Olive Oil Cake with Lavender Mascarpone

• I’ve mentioned my filmmaker friend Dusty before (his film Violation was at Sundance this year), well his movie is a Critic’s Pick in the The New York Times this month, which is amazing and so well deserved. Truly could not happen to a better person.

• I have eaten approximately five pounds of asparagus since spring began and I can’t see myself stopping anytime soon. It’s so fucking good. One grievance: that huge, fat asparagus. Why’s it so big like that?? Unnatural as hell. Give me that thin, beautiful asparagus that’s increasingly so hard to find any day. And to anyone who’s like, “Don’t you hate how it makes your pee smell?” - why you gotta go smell your pee? Be normal, weirdo.

• I did Nathan’s podcast and we talked about how it’s been so beneficial to get some intentional offline time each Sunday.

• Here were the best tweets of the month.

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I’m trying so hard to find a way to stream the last three episodes of Stanley Tucci’s Searching For Italy which has been impossible to find, will definitely go check out Little Island, excited to maybe go to the Kusama exhibit, I’d really like to make the Carbone garlic bread, I want to locate and try milk bread, my brother Robbie told me to mix balsamic vinegar & mayo and put it on a burger so I’ll try that soon, I bought some dried Rao’s pasta so I can’t wait to make it, I’m so excited that movie theatres are opening on the 2nd here (I’ll be fully vaccinated very soon so this is great), and I’m adding a resolution: I’d like to do one new thing on the first of every month (examples: buy stock in something, eat ramen, etc.).

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in February over here and you can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

Sea of Love

Before this episode, I’d never heard this song before and I can’t tell you how much I fell in love with it.

The Best of January

Wonderful, a new month! Even I’m not sure when I’m being sarcastic anymore. You know what I realized this month? This is technically year three of Covid-19 since it started in late 2019. Should I have kept that information to myself? Probably. I’m sorry. In any case, time moves on and we’re in a new month, so here’s what went down last month.

• Before I begin, every January I make sure to:

  • Mark down all important holidays/birthdays/anniversaries (also Daylight Saving Times, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving) on my calendar

  • Check expiration dates for passport/license/health card/insurance/vet vaccinations and write down any important renewal dates

• I recapped how my 2020 resolutions turned out. Spoiler alert: it’s not impressive.

• I made my 2021 resolutions because I’m determined to live optimistically.

• Here are some of my favourite photos from 2020.

• I really want to make these A-Z foods that I’ve never made before throughout the year. Kind of really excited about this.

• I’ve officially become obsessed with making end-of-the-year videos.

• The new 2021 birthday gifts at Sephora have been announced! (Speaking of Sephora, have you seen the price point for Jennifer Lopez’s new line of products? Hahahahah, just wild.)

• I read and reviewed Alek Trebek’s memoir, which was really good.

• I made this carbonara from Bon Appetite and it BLEW! It was the first recipe that I made this year so I. was. PISSED.

• I couldn’t find a Detroit style pizza place near my parent’s house (grow up, Mississauga) so I had no other choice but to get takeout from Descendant in Toronto and it was incredible.

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The 8 x 10 “no name” from Descendant Pizza, Toronto

• I listened to Taylor Swift’s evermore and the favourites are: champagne problems, tolerate it, and evermore.

• I’ve been using my parent’s air fryer and, surprise surprise, it’s amazing. Obviously it makes everything taste great, but the best part is that it’s so much faster than a regular oven. The best thing I’ve made so far was definitely these pickles.

• These are the greatest frozen french fries in Canada. Eat them. I promise. They’re lightly coated, but still thin and crispy.

• I’d never even heard of The Devil’s Own which seems insane because two of the hottest nineties men are in it. Good movie? Not so much. I’d watch it again on mute though maybe.

• If you’d like to momentarily be transported back to your childhood on Saturday mornings, get your ass over here for a second.

• Speaking of the past, do you remember Heritage Minutes in Canada? God, some of them were really, really good. My favourite ones were the Laura Secord one, the Superman one, the Winnie one, and definitely the Marconi one.

@theladyshortcake

#fy #fyp

♬ Jake25.17 sound - 🦋Olivia🦋

• I bought another bodysuit from Aritzia, but I mean look at this one. It’s heavenly. I can’t wait to wear it for Baby Dog on my way to the kitchen.

• And I mean since I was already on the site, I also bought this honey/beige-coloured headband and matching mittens. I officially look adorable.

• Still in love with the Dennis Gross peels, I just wish they weren’t so unreasonably priced.

• I made this BA pasta with mushrooms and it was waaay too salty, what the hell is going on with me fucking up recipes these days?!

• I tried this frozen vegan pizza and it was actually not terrible! Like, not as terrible tasting as regular frozen pizza.

• Remember Grand & Toy (it was near Walter’s Music in Square One in the 90s)? I have to make a mental note to start using them instead of Staples. I loved that store for school supplies when I was a kid. Gotta support.

• I’ve been watching the new Jeopardy! episodes with Ken Jennings and the first one was terrible in my opinion mainly because it just felt so wrong, but as I’ve kept watching I think it’s becoming less weird. I am excited to see the other guest hosts just to see how different they’ll each be.

• I tried this drugstore John Frieda sea spray and it was complete crap. I may have overused it, but that’s really not my fault. Why in the hell don’t hair product labels tell you how many pumps you should use?! I swear to god, if only I were running things…

• I made popovers for the first time and they were surprisingly easy! I might never buy a dinner roll ever again.

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Popovers

• I love the softness of these Indigo pajamas so much that I bought them twice (in both red & blue).

• I heard the old Frank Sinatra song That’s Life on the radio the other day and got so teary, maybe ‘cause I haven’t heard it in years? Maybe ‘cause it’s just a perfect song? Am I slowly just losing it? While it was playing, I just kept saying to myself “That IS life!” Yeah, might have lost it.

• I watched the newest season of Big Mouth and loved it. The anxiety mosquito might be the best new character introduced in the middle of a series OF ALL TIME. Such a great show.

• I started watching Superstore (mostly in the background) and it’s pretty good! I’ve only seen a few episodes, but I definitely get the appeal.

• I made these ganache-stuffed chocolate chip cookies and they were just lovely. Love a ganache, love that word.

• Also made these salted tahini butter chocolate chip cookies (quite good!) because I’m going through a light depression, evidently.

• My friend Dusty got his film Violation into Sundance and it’s wild that I know such immensely talented people. So, so proud of him.

• I made blintzes with a Grand Marnier mascarpone (the blintz recipe is, of course, from Chef John and the mascarpone recipe is from one of Stanley Tucci’s cookbooks). It was delicious. It seems so intimidating to make crepes, but it was actually so easy and fun. Plus it looks like it’d be such a complicated thing to make, but I’d say it’s even easier than baking cookies.

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Blintz with Grand Marnier mascarpone & wild blueberries in a cranberry coulis

• I tried to read Ijeoma Oluo’s newest book Mediocre and I just couldn’t get into it. Even I was surprised because I love her work, so maybe I’ll give this one another try at a later date.

• I had a real craving for a good bagel and since I’m not near Brooklyn Bagel in Astoria at the moment, I looked up the best place in this area for a bagel and went to the Old Bagel House on Lakeshore. And look, I respect what they’re doing, but they don’t hold a candle to New York bagels. Hard pass.

• I’ve been using this tea tree night lotion from The Body Shop for years now, it really calms down your face before bed. Their entire tea tree collection is hard to beat.

• I bought this jewelry stand and jewelry box both from Simons and they’re so divine.

• Loving this makeup brush cleaner (especially the mini size for traveling). Expensive brush cleaners make zero sense to me.

• I tried the Snoop Dogg wine and it was wine! (There’s not a spelling error or word missing there, it really was just wine.)

• I made Creamy Cod & Potato Gratin and it was delicious, god I love tarragon.

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Creamy Cod & Potato Gratin

• I recently started eating frozen Canadian wild blueberries and they taste so blueberry. It’s madness. They’re so tiny and full of flavour, I couldn’t believe it. I’m so used to the blandness of blueberries from literally everywhere else. NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THESE!

• I also tried sumo citrus oranges and yes they were good, but nowhere NEAR as good as cara cara oranges.

• Right now, Scaddabush has a pretty sweet family deal of a lasagna, salad & focaccia for $40 and it easily feeds four people, with leftovers.

• Favourite tweets of the month ahead.

no one is “born bi,” you watch The Mummy at a formative age and the whole cast turns you bi

— Elle (@Elle_Enasalin) December 30, 2020

Maybe this year will be better than the last

— Counting Crows (@CountingCrows) January 1, 2021

Using negative COVID tests to decide if it’s safe to go to parties is like using pregnancy tests as contraception.

— Kay M. Dingwell🍁🩺🏳️‍🌈 (@CanadianKayMD) December 31, 2020

In 34 years on this planet I’ve learned one very important lesson that I’m going to pass on to you fellas. She can eat your fries. You cannot eat her fries

— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) August 17, 2020

when the subtitles are like "speaks foreign language" i'm like...yes, girl...and what they be sayin??

— sydney battle (@SydneyBattle) January 2, 2021

My one wish for post-pandemic life is the return of the conversation pit as a popular architectural feature. pic.twitter.com/l3M0aCxhmu

— Dave Schilling (@dave_schilling) January 3, 2021

I choose to believe crop circles are real because I love the thought of aliens coming to earth and then being like “now time for some arts and crafts”

— Michael Benjamin (@mfbenji) January 3, 2021

Paul Rudd is a glimmering example of an 8 who became a 10 by having a good personality. That’s right folks, you can go up by +2 just by being wonderful

— Marisa Galvez (@masiragz) January 2, 2021

Somehow went from “Suck it up, Snowflake, you lost!” to “Oh we lost? Let’s shred the Constitution.”

— Rachel Dratch (@TheRealDratch) January 3, 2021

Please stay home, wear a mask, and get the vaccine. My child told me today his best friend is the number 35.

— Leila Cohan (@leilacohan) January 3, 2021

"Reduce Stress" isn't an acceptable treatment suggestion for any ailment unless the doctor telling you to do it is offering to cover your expenses while you rest.

— Rosa Pasquarella (@whatrosasaid) January 5, 2021

Almost a year later and I still think it’s absurd that we’re all expected to carry on like everything isn’t bizarre. No change in work schedules, hours or anything. We’re really the “this is fine” meme come to life.

— Creole Lady Grey Poupon (@theelectwoman08) January 4, 2021

wanna open a bar called “plot twist” where upon entering the establishment you suddenly learn that you are that evenings bartender

— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) January 5, 2021

i used to think that commissioning a hologram of your wife's dead father who you never met and having him call you a genius from beyond the grave was proof of a perfect marriage but i guess i'll have to rethink https://t.co/UyOoVfIGMa

— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) January 6, 2021

tort yells at food pic.twitter.com/CebiOG1bmF

— Tortoise (@TortoisesDaily) January 6, 2021

I know kim happy she don’t have to wear them hunger games clothes no more

— greta gerNIG (@NILES100) January 6, 2021

stop rebooting spiderman and batman every two years and give us what we really want: a zorro who fucks

— karl hess (@karlhess) January 4, 2021

Donald Trump: a man who started life on third base and ended up destroying baseball

— DC Pierson (@DCpierson) January 6, 2021

2016: it’s only four years, how bad can it get

2021: are the armed insurrectionists storming the Capitol aware that there is a plague ravaging the land

— Owl! at the Library 😴🧙‍♀️ (@SketchesbyBoze) January 7, 2021

this is my favorite photo of the year. John Trumbull’s Surrender of General Burgoyne sitting right there and he grabs a PODIUM?! FUND ARTS EDUCATION NOW! 🤡 pic.twitter.com/nfT37LZoM1

— Antwaun Sargent (@Sirsargent) January 7, 2021

I want to take up painting and paint horrifying portraits of friends for their birthday and tell them I worked really hard on it.

— Kase Raso (@KaseRaso) January 8, 2021

twitter now that trump is banned from it pic.twitter.com/lKyb2IMauD

— louis’ gf (REAL!!!) loves preethi (@hscatrry) January 8, 2021

jAsOn MAntZoUkaS tAlkS LiKe ThIS soMEhOw?

— Lizzie Logan (@lizzzzzielogan) January 8, 2021

"This is not who I am" -me eating my 6th slice of pizza

— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) January 8, 2021

Simply the best.
Thank you, Alex. pic.twitter.com/GgXbV4AWMt

— Jeopardy! (@Jeopardy) January 8, 2021

What’s always appalled me about this country is how we have so much more empathy for powerful people who commit crimes out of greed than for poor people who commit crimes out of desperation.

— Ida Bae Wells (@nhannahjones) January 9, 2021

buying clothes online:

"the model is 6'3" and wearing a size small."

— ☕netw3rk (@netw3rk) January 9, 2021

Once my husband was reading a Halloween book to our 4 y/o niece & she pointed to a vague monster in the background of an illustration.
“Who IS that?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he answered.
Then like an exhausted magazine editor in chief, she sighed “It’s probably a ghoul.”

— Andrew Farmer (@thatsajellyfish) January 9, 2021

me going on a stupid little daily walk just to feel something pic.twitter.com/Yi6VVHVVB6

— ruby 🐊 (@roobeekeane) January 8, 2021

the gender pay gap is mostly fucked up bc like what do men even have to buy?

— Audrey Kaufman (@KaufmanAudrey) January 9, 2021

dating someone who can stay kind even during fights is very important

— ً (@Kidxfx) January 9, 2021

I just pushed my grandmother down the basement steps. My parents want to call the cops on me, but I don't know how that would unify this family.

— Chip Chantry (@ChipChantry) January 10, 2021

pic.twitter.com/P9c6IakEre

— ₩abzz 👾 (@Nabzzino) January 9, 2021

Americans only love the college experience because it's the only time in their lives they live in walkable communities

— 𝖆𝖟𝖚𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖔 (@Bro_Neill) January 10, 2021

that morning field trip air was just different

— Nope (@memequeenyerp) January 8, 2021

His dad owned a fucking emerald mine during the apartheid https://t.co/qIDzQFopXo

— Diamond hands Josh (@gokuw33dlord) January 11, 2021

sex is cool but have you ever been brown while watching white terrorists dragged off a plane

— Fizaa Dosani (@FizaaDosani) January 11, 2021

I'd like to teach y'all a Southern phrase that will help you get off a phone/Zoom/Facetime call or you don't want to be on anymore but don't have an excuse to leave. Let me introduce you to the power of "Well, let me let you go"

— sara (@_saracannon) January 12, 2021

I actually cannot stop laughing at this hahaahahahaha pic.twitter.com/viiqCwBsMn

— jack rem x (@jackremmington) January 13, 2021

my mom: we’re just gonna have a few people over, I’ll make something simple

also my mom: pic.twitter.com/CQWFYpLwO8

— عابد (@NasheedWallace) January 13, 2021

my first time making focaccia !! ✨ not perfect but i tried lol 😊 pic.twitter.com/drjHAIocsB

— Jubilee ❣️ (@16pxl) January 14, 2021

Government of Ontario Marvin Gaye

🤝
"What's going on"

— Sailor Sad 🌹 (@abaquan) January 14, 2021

ONLY person going through border from Canada to US. Customs agent looked at me the way a server does when you walk into their restaurant that’s about to close

— Nathan Macintosh (@Nathanmacintosh) January 14, 2021

me, scrolling by terrible, non-harmful opinions on this hellsite and not stopping: pic.twitter.com/PthfOB8EX2

— Preeti Chhibber (@runwithskizzers) January 15, 2021

me going through the TSA body scanner pic.twitter.com/BBGigtyA98

— elizabeth (@peeanofreek) January 15, 2021

Live clip of Canada managing Covid-19 vaccine distribution... pic.twitter.com/PEUXkVMW4t

— PETER ANTHONY (@peterisfunny) January 15, 2021

Only relatable part of nineties television is Danny Tanner compulsively cleaning bc it’s only thing he can control.

— Lindsay Theisen (@lindsaytheis) April 12, 2020

had a dream my girl shit herself at the club so i shit MY self to make her feel better😭😭😭why the fuck we aint just leave😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

— chris (@yunglame) January 15, 2021

bunch of high schoolers just walked past my car in the Taco Bell drive thru I was playing coldplay loud as hell. one of em made eye contact wit me, said something to his friends and they all laughed. this is the worst day of my life

— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) January 16, 2021

The US isn't even a country, it's just three corporations in a trench coat

— Chairman Kooks | UBSA ☭ (@shawarmacommie) January 16, 2021

Tim Hortons new ad campaign: our dark roast coffee gets a little less shitty every few years”

— Steve Patterson (@patterballs) January 17, 2021

It’s a good day when you find out it isn’t YOUR Backstreet Boy that’s into Q

— Babs Gray (@BabsGray) January 16, 2021

The biggest scam is cooking for 2 hours just to eat for ten minutes

— 🥂 (@Jackaldinh0) January 13, 2021

Nobody defends billionaires more than hundredaires.

— AC Tatum (@actatumonline) January 16, 2021

telling the song to “shut up” right before you skip it >>>>>

— Alfred (@fredtv_) January 16, 2021

i love how insane everyone is becoming

— insider (@housetrotter) January 18, 2021

Oh gawd he's going to open Canada's Wonderland isn't he. https://t.co/abfPkOllTY

— Jeremy Woodcock (@jwPencilAndPad) January 18, 2021

happy birthday Dolly Parton!! I will honor her, like I do every year, by having huge boobs and being nice

— Laura Peek (@laurapeek_) January 19, 2021

I am only now learning of the "body diversity" Vogue cover from 2017 and I cannot stop laughing.https://t.co/yMeuiBW8jB pic.twitter.com/gEJnE1j7Fu

— Michael Hobbes (@RottenInDenmark) January 18, 2021

He seems like a very happy old man looking forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see! pic.twitter.com/G8gObLhsz9

— Greta Thunberg (@GretaThunberg) January 20, 2021

no thoughts ... just ... baby snoopy pic.twitter.com/uKQkwHN1Pm

— ً (@voidshitter) January 20, 2021

u gotta be ur biggest supporter https://t.co/SkUdpvhwRE

— nope (@LilNasX) January 22, 2021

It’s wild that “not everyone gets food” is how we’ve decided to organize society.

— Wendy Molyneux (@WendyMolyneux) January 23, 2021

So many JLo movies start with a long sequence to ease you into the idea that in the world of this movie, JLo is just a regular looking girl.

— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) January 23, 2021

leave butter out on the counter you cowards

— karl hess (@karlhess) January 23, 2021

today’s young vegetarians will never know the adrenaline rush of ordering a veggie burger in 2006 with not the faintest idea of what you were about to receive

— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) January 25, 2021

What can i do to make sure nothing bad ever happens to me ever again ? so far my idea is buy something

— helena (@freshhel) January 24, 2021

Funny how people can separate Tom Brady’s politics from his game, but struggle to do the same when it comes to Kaepernick.

— Ahmed Ali (@MrAhmednurAli) January 25, 2021

The notes app is a uniquely melancholy place where banal tasks like "buy paper towels" live next to incoherent, sad aspirations like "become more like safdie brothers" (??)

— walker (@walkercapl) January 25, 2021

I’ve been attacked. pic.twitter.com/YhrOnRxWKM

— Matthew Strugar (@MatthewStrugar) September 18, 2020

the one thing I know about stocks is that they rise in value if people believe in them and I just want to say, same

— Karen Chee (@karencheee) January 28, 2021

Baby girl just got glasses and can now see clearly for the very first time. Makes my heart smile.

This is the Twitter content I’m here for...💪😍😇😊😍pic.twitter.com/2Gm9KpJmdb

— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) December 12, 2019

Been together since 4pm, no problems. I go to the bathroom ONCE 45 seconds in, and I have to rush out to this: pic.twitter.com/AN1iaZYe2k

— MV (@madelaneeee) September 27, 2019

When someone who wasn’t previously thirst trapping starts posting sexy pics I’m like YES babe also who are these about tell me everything

— Allison O'Conor (@allisonoconor) January 27, 2021

Doug Ford pic.twitter.com/hj3BpFByq0

— alan crane lewis 🏗 (@TheAlanShane) January 27, 2021

my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me

— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) January 29, 2021

pic.twitter.com/zM5HFwz3jj

— out of context community (@darkestimeline) January 29, 2021

It's so cold in New York this weekend, I think I might stay inside since last March.

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) January 30, 2021

The government making vaccine appointment booking online only is a pretty good case for making the internet a public utility.

— pls vaccinate me (@onekade) January 28, 2021

Mix it up this weekend by staring into a different part of the void

— tom (@pilau) January 30, 2021

I once asked friends on Facebook for the craziest LA advice their parents had given & 1 said their mom told her to wear a fake ponytail when jogging so if someone grabbed it to try to rape her it would pull out like a lizard's tail and boy do women have a lot more to worry about.

— Benjamin Siemon (@BenjaminJS) January 30, 2021

all sober people straight rawdogging this pandemic should be first for the vaccine

— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) January 31, 2021

For everyone who is like, “A SATC reboot without Samantha? She’s the sex!” Sure. But she’s been the best friend anyone could ask for since Day One. When I think Samantha - I think this moment sums up her entire existence. That wink!! pic.twitter.com/QrsjnZMFLi

— JEN KIRKMAN 👩🏻‍💻 (@JenKirkman) January 31, 2021

Sometimes is ok to wake up and choose violence. At least once a month.

— iamcardib (@iamcardib) January 31, 2021

Charles Manson carved a swastika in his forehead and his lawyers didn't quit.

— Mike Larsen (@MikeLarsenOH) January 31, 2021

A “new” “month” of this “year” “starts” “tomorrow”

— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) February 1, 2021

I will never forgive covid for stealing one of my hot years

— Marisa Galvez (@masiragz) February 1, 2021

Covid also wasted one of your enemy’s hot years

— Max Hoover (@bigtenniscourt) February 3, 2021

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I will continue to watch and love all upcoming new Riverdale episodes (thank you season five for bringing this song back into my life), I might make these french onion stuffed shells because they sound insane, I’m excited to watch Stanley Tucci’s CNN cooking show Searching For Italy, I might fall into the world of focaccia bread art, I’d love to attempt ANY of these hairstyles, and I’m so excited to hear when the final season of Shrill will finally air.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in December over here and you can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.